New and Improved, my Love
by coco786
Summary: First fan fic! Edward leaves for a second time not knowing what he left behind. 50 years later they're all back at a new and improved Forks High. Only the Cullens think she's a descendant of Bella's. Give it a shot! its better than it sounds! ExB!
1. First Day

My first fanfic! please review! **Don't mind flames!!!**

I tried my hardest to make this interesting!

**Disclaimer: Don't and never will own Twilight, The Cullens, Bella, or Edward... As much as i want to. Sadly Meyer owns them and not me.**

Now enough of my rambling! On with the story!

**Pov's: Bella**

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I sighed as I got into my car. I was back at Forks High. (Middle of the school year. The day I first started 50 years ago.) It had been 50 years since the Cullens left me... **again**. I had dwelled in my misery long enough to not care and then a nomad vampire came along and bit me. So I, Isabella Marie Swan, have been a vampire for 50 years.

**Bella mentally laughing like a maniac:**

_Ha Edward! You didn't want this life for me but it happened anyway!_

I had traveled the world in the last 50 years and this year I came full circle. I was a bit annoyed by how much the students were like their ancestors.

I was driving to the school in my Aston Martin DBS. It was blue like the color Edward said he liked on me. I still loved him even though he left me and I have not seen him in over 50 years. Maybe i was selfless as Edward kept telling me. Or maybe i was too selfish to not stop wanting him.

I pulled into the parking lot of Forks High. It had changed a lot. It had 4 stories tall now and had 1 wall made of glass…(realizing how much it matches to the Cullen mansion…Stares at it with wide, praising eyes… hits myself upside the head for being so obsessed.) I smiled at the school knowing it may not look the same yet, though it was the place, where Edward and I had first met. I leaned against my car in a daze as more cars came into the parking lot.

When the parking lot was full I realized I was surrounded by my worshipers as usual. They were so annoying but I didn't have the heart to shoo them away permanently.

"Bella, can we get you something? Is there anything you want?" they all asked at different times.

I had learnt to ignore it. I sighed and looked at them. I wasn't in the mood to deal with them.

"Go away. I will disown all of you if **any** one of you bug me today." I growled.

They nodded and scurried away. This was what I get for being too nice on my first day. My ears perked up as I heard someone talking about me. I was surprised by who I heard.

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**Please review! And again I don't mind flames. they'll help me improve my future chapters.**

**Any way, sorry this is a short chapter.**

**Please at least give it a try! Promise future surprises!  
**


	2. Lovely Day isnt it

Okay this is a bit longer... or way longer which ever way you see i don't really care at this point. i know i leave it at the most unlikely places for the next chapter but I'm working on that! as in I know it's annoying but deal with it. A lot of stuff happens in this first day! i can't just put in one chapter!... also i don't really know how to end a chapter but like I said, I'm working on it!

Hope you enjoy!

Now lets get this show on the road!

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**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight no matter how much i wish i did. SM owns it!,,, i wonder if she'll lend me Edward for a while. maybe if i beg he'll turn me into a vampy too... okay getting carried away with the disclaimer... ON WITH THE STORY!!**

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"Wow! If they swoon over her, Rose you'll have the whole student body envying you." I heard someone laugh.

I didn't turn because it scared people when I would stare at them while they talked to me. I began to clear my mind and listen to their minds as well as thoughts. I had gained many abilities when I became a vampire.

"Humph! As if I **need** to try! I bet it took her 4 years just to get those boys to swoon over her. Edward do you know what she's thinking?" she huffed annoyed with competition. I smiled as I grabbed my backpack out of my back seat.

"I don't know…" Edward murmured back.

I heard their surprise and confusion in their minds.

_She's like Bella? _Alice thought. I saw, out of the corner of my eye, him nod yes. I smiled to myself.

He still couldn't read my mind due to the fact that I had a shield that disabled all mind attacks. I smirked to myself and looked at them with it before retreating into the school.

I heard Rosalie scream in frustration in her mind. Edward must have loved that. I couldn't hide the longing I felt when I saw them. I wanted to run up and hug them. I wanted to kiss Edward and show him that even though he left me I still loved him. I wanted **my** family back.

School was so boring now that the Cullens were here. At least for me it was. For everyone else it was a blast.

I did get a kick out of the boys' minds when they saw Emmett with Rosalie. They were so scared. One of them almost wet their pants. I laughed out loud and realized I wasn't the only one when I heard some one looking at me confused. I looked around until I saw Edward staring at me confused through the crowd. I smiled and waved.

_"Wow, she looks so much like Bella… Maybe it's one of her descendants…_" he trailed off. I grinned and turned away.

When lunch came around they were mobbed by almost everyone in the school. I stared at them from the doors of the cafeteria.I sighed and walked over.

"GUYS!" I yelled over all the stopped and I saw Alice look at me excited.

"You know as well as I do that no matter how much you try they won't even become slightly interested. We already went through this with me, remember? It is okay if you people do this to me but with them not so much. We don't want them to leave now do we?" I asked in a serious tone.

They all looked at me repentant. "No Miss Swan. We're sorry Cullen family." They all chimed. I smiled and they all stood there dazed for a second.

When they left to eat I smiled and walked up to the Cullens.

"Thank you so- What?" Alice said suddenly. She was having a vision. I saw the worst possible image. I felt horrible as both Alice and Edward saw the possibility of me throwing myself at him. I smiled at them pretending to be totally unaware of the conversation going on in their heads as Alice had another vision. This involved us becoming best friends.

She thought to herself sourly,"_But Bella's my best friend._" I smiled at that.

"Hello, my name's Bella. It's nice to meet you." I smiled assuring them with my eyes that it was okay.

I stuck my hand out and they took it vigilantly. I smiled and gestured to one of the tables. They sat down a bit more slowly than I would have liked. I frowned and sat down too.

I looked out the glass wall and up at the cloudy sky. "Lovely day isn't it? Perfect weather when you want the sun but also don't." I smiled turning back to them. They stared at me puzzled by my cryptic words. i shook my head I and looked back at the window.

"So, how do you like Forks so far?" I smiled. Alice answered immediately. "Forks is awesome! We love it so much! It feels just like home!" she chimed. In her thoughts was a different story.

_Forks isn't the same with out Bella anymore. __**Edward! **__You know this is all your fault, right? If you had just given her what she wanted you wouldn't feel so damn depressed and I wouldn't feel so deprived of Bella Barbie! I miss Bella!_

I frowned at Edward's response. He was going to respond to Alice later but he thought it none the less.

_As if I don't know that! I hurt everyone when I decided to leave her. It was the worst decision of my life! Why wouldn't I know this is my fault! Sheesh, Alice you know I know this yet you still decide it's necessary to make me feel horrible everyday in the past 50 years._

I frowned at their first day was nothing but sadness. Which was confirmed by Jasper. God they knew how to annoy me so much.


	3. Bio all over again

This is just a funny i thought on the spot. It does technically have a point in the story but i felt it needed a special place.

I didn't ramble this time... AWESOME! Now on to the disclaimer!

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. Sm does... Maybe she'll lend the right to the novel for a couple of months...then again maybe not... ON with the story!

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I knew how he felt about me through his thoughts. He only left to give me a chance at a _normal_ life, again. As if. Like I could live with out him. He may not have wanted to bring me into this life but I was going down this road the day I saw him stare daggers at me in Bio. that first was like oxygen to me, for god's sake!

I ranted on in my head about how stupid he had been when the bell rang. They started to get up and I smiled as I leaned back in my chair.

"Aren't you going to go to class?" Everyone asked me.

I shook my head and shrugged. They looked at me and I smiled.

"Some one once told me that ditching class was healthy. I have to say that, now, I honestly _**do**_agree with him." I smiled, knowingly.

They looked at me and Edward raised an eyebrow.

"Have fun in Biology." I replied.

"How did-" I cut him off.

"Mr. Blander told us yesterday that Edward Cullen was coming to class today." I shrugged.

He looked at me as he left. Sooner or later he was going to go straight to his car before going to class.

I was sitting in my car, listening to music as I saw Edward come out the front doors. I smiled to myself as he went to his car. I knew they were blood-typing today in Biology. Apparently he didn't. Must have had his mind else where. I clarified that as I listened to his thoughts.

_I can't believe I hadn't realized before that they were blood-typing! Holy shit what was wrong with me!? I can't get that Bella girl out of my head! Oh god! Please do not tell me I'm trying to replace Bella with __**her**__! I love Bella and will always only love her!_

I watched him walk to his car, completely awestruck by his thoughts.

_That girl though... She looks a lot like Bella. I wonder if I've seen her before... Of course i'd think she was familar! She looks like my Bella! I think I've finally gone crazy.

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_

Sorry but i ahd to put this in and like i said before this is related to the story but is also an on the spot had - to - put - in funny. Also i am well aware of how cheesy/corny the joke in it was. just humor me with this chapter.

**Please review! I live for reviews!! **

okay tata for now XD

coco786


	4. Surprises and Explanations

4th chapter has a little spoiler. I don't know if anyone would guess what it is but ppl

Live for Reviews. Don't mind flames.

Any way as much as i'd love to write a chapter worth of me rambling its time for the disclaimer.

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**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight no matter how much i want to. SM owns all the characters.**

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I smiled to myself as music blared. Suddenly I heard tapping on my window. I sighed and looked over.

"Mama! Open the door immediately! We have to talk to you!" a little bell of a voice shrieked.

I opened my door knocking two kids on their butts. They let out a wail of pain and that's where the crying started.

"Oh, sorry! I'm so sorry sweeties!" I exclaimed picking them up.

They were still crying when I swung them back and forth. I gasped when I heard a car door open.

"Are they okay?" a velvety smooth voice asked quietly from behind me.

I froze in place as they cried. They looked at me then gasped. _NO!_ They thought together. I nodded and the crying just got harder. Two hands came and picked up my son. I twirled around and watched Edward sooth E.J to sleep. I felt my daughter fall asleep immediately as well.

"Wow. You really have a way with kids. It usually takes me forever to calm them down and they usually just do it to annoy me. I've never seen them calm down so quickly or fall asleep of their own free will." I rambled on.

He looked at me curiously and I quickly shut my mouth, before i accidentally

_Wow I've had 50 years to get over my nervousness around him and now it's just worse! Wow this sucks!_

I thought to myself glumly. Why was it that even though I was a vampire too that he still looked better? This was so unfair. I was suddenly distracted by his thoughts

_I don't really understand this. I thought it was just her that could do that. Why can't I read these kids thoughts? Is something wrong with me? And why are they so hot? I've never heard of a child who didn't have a fever with this kind of heat._

"Does your son have a fever?" Edward asked me quietly as he rocked E.J back and forth. I shook my head and smiled.

"He seems to like you. He never likes anyone, let alone in such a short time. I wonder why that is. My daughter too. She likes you." My smile turned into a grin.

His return smile was guarded but stunning just the same.

"How old are they?" he asked quietly, watching E.J sleep.

"They're 3. I know it seems a bit sluttish to have had them in grade nine but I really didn't have a choice. I fell in love with them as soon as I realized I was pregnant." I smiled down at my daughter.

Edward looked at me for a while, silent.

"I'm sorry! You probably don't want to hear about that!" I blushed.

(Another power of mine. I could give myself human features and capabilities.) He looked at me as if he was looking at something new and interesting.

"What're their names?" he asked me after a while.

I felt my blush deepen and mumbled, "My son's name is E.J and my daughter's name is Rennesme but she doesn't like the fact that it's so long so we call her Nessie."

Suddenly E.J stirred and his tiny hand clung to Edward's shirt. I looked at him and up at Edward. He was smiling down at E.J with a look a father would give to his son. I smiled as Nessie began to mumble in her sleep. I groaned inwardly. I knew what she was dreaming about and if she started to talk about it, I would have a heart attack if I were able to.

"Mommy… don't cry… daddy will come back… daddy will come back soon… don't cry… please? We miss him too… Edward why won't you… he does want to meet us right... he does doesn't he… Daddy come home so mommy doesn't cry to sleep anymore!" she mumbled as she turned onto her stomach.

I glanced up at Edward. He was staring at Nessie with wide eyes. He met my eyes and tilted his head to the side.

I cringed at his thoughts.

_So her lover left her too. Why, oh, why Bella? Is it in your genes to fall in love with someone who will leave you? Maybe it is because your genes include clumsiness. You're so clumsy as to fall in love with someone so dangerous! Oh, god Bella!_

I scowled at him as my son began to cry.

"Mommy! This isn't fair!" he cried in his sleep.

I groaned as he dreamt of all the times I cried over Edward. I smiled sadly at him.

"Sweetie life isn't fair. I've told you that your whole life." I whispered. Edward looked at me sadly.

"What happened? Is there a reason as to why he left?" he asked quietly.

I grimaced.

"He never gives me a reason. He just leaves and I wait for him to come back. The first time he left, I was fairly close to insanity. When he came back, I welcomed him warmly and he smiled and said I was so selfless. He was wrong of course. I am very selfish. I never wanted him to leave again and I clung to him as if my life depended on it. I miss him so much and I bet he would say the same thing if I saw him again." I smiled sadly as my kids rolled over again.

I placed them in my passenger seat and they held each other in their sleep. Edward looked at me sadly.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked." He whispered. His thoughts were a bit different though.

_I want to ask her so much more and the way she talks about him… it sounds like even though he has left her repeatedly, she still loves him. I want to know what is going on in that head of hers so badly!_

I grinned at him and he looked at me surprised.

"I know this is a bit forward but why don't your family come over today after school? I rarely ever have guest over and if I bring someone over the kids would be very happy." I smiled, intertwining my fingers.

He looked at me a bit dazzled and nodded. I liked the fact that I dazzled him.

"Just follow me, okay?" I smiled as the final bell rang.

(I ditched gym too.) He nodded and made his way over to where his family was waiting. Rosalie was a bit pissed when he told them the plans he just made. Alice and Emmett seemed enthusiastic and Jasper seemed indifferent, as always. I smiled and got into my car, revving it slightly before pulling out of the parking lot.

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**Thanks for reading it!**

**I'd like to thank my first reviewer in this chapter: candynutt!**

**okay then next chapter on its way!**


	5. Cars are awesome arent they?

new chapter and its a bit boring but it leads into the next one.

Oh and i just had to write Edward like this.

well enough talk time for the disclaimer.

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**Disclaimer: SM owns everything. I own diddly.**

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I pulled out of the parking lot easily and began to zoom down the road. As I move quickly down my overly long driveway, I heard my kids waking up.

"They're coming to visit?" Nessie asked, excited.

I nodded as I parked my car next to my emerald Lotus and my onyx Koenisegg. I got out as the Volvo screeched to a halt behind me. My kids climbed out of the car and sat on the Lotus.

"Wow! How did you get this?" Edward asked immediately walking over to my Keonisegg. I shrugged indifferent.

"A friend got me it for my birthday." He stared at me in disbelief.

"He got you **this** for your **birthday**?" he choked out.

I nodded and walked over to my house.

"Mom!" my kids whined.

"Not until you have something to eat!" I yelled behind me opening the back door to the kitchen.

I put some chicken nuggets into the oven to heat up. I watched my old family play with my new one. I smiled as Edward and Alice played hide and seek with Nessie and E.J in the backyard.

The oven dinged and I pulled the food out and began munching on a nugget as I put them onto a plate. When I went outside my kids were relaxing on the floor. I glared at them and they immediately sat up and looked at me pleadingly.

"Not until you eat! Seriously, if you two don't eat you guys will faint! Now come here otherwise no cars!" I hissed.

They nodded reluctantly and got up. As they walk over, I felt the Cullens looked at me curiously.

I put the plate within their reach and explained, quietly.

"If they don't eat their bodies become weak. They cannot use the alternative at the moment so they have to make sure they eat before the possibility of fainting comes." I blushed as they continued to stare at me.

E.J burped which signaled that they were done. I sighed and stood up.

"I guess I can't put it off anymore." I mumbled to myself as I walked over to the garage.

They made it there before me and jumped up and down in anticipation.

"Okay, okay! Hold your horses, sheesh." I laughed as I leaned against the garage wall. They looked at me pleadingly and I nodded.

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God i m really hating myself right now for totally skipping this chapter! Read it and review

Im so sorry!


	6. RACING!

Hey, chapter 6 is up now. i'm probably going to update three or four chapters every time i can.

I know its short! dont torment me!

Time for the disclaimer... no matter how much i wish i didnt have to.

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**Disclaimer: SM owns everything! i own nothing!!**

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Suddenly there was not a wall. I stumbled and looked at the garage wall slowly move into the floor. Behind it was a racetrack the size of 4 football fields. Nessie and E.J danced around knowing we were going to race.

I turned around a grinned.

"Welcome to **my** playground!" They stared at me in amazement.

"What? Is there something wrong with a girl who likes speed?" I asked innocently. I frowned at Edward's thoughts.

_She may be Bella's descendant but they're nothing alike!_

Why would we be? Oh wait we're the same person!

My kids laughed at my thoughts and I glared at them, embarrassed.

"So are we gonna race or what?" Nessie asked, putting a hand on her hip.

She reminded me so much of Alice and Rosalie I was surprised that she didn't even know them when she became like this.

"OF COURSE WE ARE! I can't wait to kick their butts!" I laughed with them as I got into my Aston martin.

They looked at me with smirks. "Aren't you guys gonna race?" I asked throwing keys at them.

When we were at the starting line and when Rosalie flashed the flag to go I sat there as they sped off. Rosalie and Jasper looked at me confused as i slowly moved the car forward. Nessie and E.J laughed as I slowly made my way to the first corner. When I got there, everyone was about two corners away.

I sighed as I slowly made my way to the fifth corner and looked at my kids as I rounded it.

"Shall we?" I asked, a smile playing on my lips.

They nodded and laughed, "Lets show 'em what we're made of!" I grinned and pushed the gas pedal a little.

We zoomed to the next corner so fast Rosalie thought we were going to crash. I laughed and easily turned. We made it up to Emmett in the Lotus in no time. He looked at us alarmed as I smiled at him. I zoomed away, leaving him in the dust.

I felt so alive racing with them. I laughed as I saw Alice and Edward in the Keonisegg. They zoomed around the corner as I came to the middle. We were going into the last line. I smirked and looked at my kids. I pushed the pedal all the way down and we left fire tracks! We zoomed around them and to the finish line in less a minute. The tires screeched as I stopped the car.

I got out, leaving my kids and their laughing fit inside.

"Wow! I can't believe that you did that with an Aston Martin." Alice chimed getting out of the car.

I shrugged, indifferent again.

"Friend did work on it as a gift." I loved my friends.

"I want **your **friends!" Edward said breathless as he praised my Aston Martin.

"Sorry, they only do this kind of stuff for me. I highly doubt they would do this for you. Maybe Alice or Rosalie but definitely not you." I smirked.

Then I immediately regretted it. Edward looked at me a bit heart broken.

"Why wouldn't they do this kind of stuff for me?" he asked.

Shit! The only reason they would not do this for Edward was that they knew he left me **twice **and they hated him for it. I groaned inwardly and shook my head, thinking of a quick lie.

"They only do this kind of thing for girls. I'm sorry." I said repentant. I felt horrible for lying but I just couldn't tell him, yet. I didn't know how it would feel if they actually knew, I was the Bella they kept thinking about.

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**Hoped you liked it!**

**If not tell me how i can improve!**

**The links to the pictures of the cars are on or will be on my page soon  
**


	7. Being strong

I'm so sorry! i hadn't noticed that i had posted the same thing until vampgurl115 pointed it out! Please forgive me! Please read this and tell me what you think! i tried to make it sound like a more mature Bella.

Tell me what you think!

Sadly i must do the disclaimer now...i really hate this part...

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**DISCLAIMER: SM owns the book that is called Twilight. i own nothing! im not even sure if i own half of this story line... Any ways**

**ON WITH THE STORY!!!  
**

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We raced around for a couple more hours. I was having an adrenaline rush from being with my family again.

"Oh Bella please, let me drive the Aston Martin! Pretty please?" Edward begged.

I laughed and nodded handing him the keys.

"Just don't push the gas pedal down the all the way. We don't want to leave my racing track in ruins." I warned as he hopped in the car with Nessie and E.J.

I smiled at that. Edward didn't even know it and he was getting along with our kids so easily. They didn't even care that he left. They were just working on making up for the time they lost with him.

I talked with Alice and Rosalie while the boys raced.

"So… Bella, you had them in grade 9 right? That must've been embarrassing for you." Rosalie said sadness deep in her eyes.

I shrugged which caught them off guard. "He must've had a good reason in his mind that he left me. I know him enough to know that he may be a complete idiot but he's still the most kindest person on the planet." I smiled. Alice looked at me with regret clear on her face.

"It must hurt. Not seeing him anymore." She whispered. She couldn't even imagine leaving Jasper's side.

I nodded but smiled just the same. They looked at me curious by my expression.

"If you love someone enough, you wouldn't care about what their mistakes were. You'd just wish they'd figure out what their mistake was and fix it. People make mistakes all the time don't they?" I smiled from one to the other.

Rosalie looked at me like she would be crying. "But you miss him don't you? How could you go three years without him? If my Emmett did that to me I would die!" she whispered.

I gave her a knowing look. "Because I know he loves me. I do miss him. A lot. It hurts just to think about him. First time he left he told me he didn't want me anymore. Second time 'round he never said a word about not loving me. And even if he did I would've known he was lying. He never stopped caring and my kids know that too so their waiting for him to return and meet them." I smiled, happy with what I said. "My kids are very strong. I wish i could be too." I whispered as they laughed and got out of the car with Edward.

I got up and my kids turned abruptly towards me, disappointment.

_Will you stop making yourself upset on purpose it's not helping at all! You're just as strong as us. So start acting like it!_

I scowled. Nessie could be so mean sometimes.

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Again i'm so sorry! please forgive me! and i hoped you liked it

Tata for now.


	8. Promises

okay chapter 7 up and running! sorry its short. but even though they're short they play a big role in the bigger story.

Live for reviews! dont mind flames!

any ways i hope you enjoy!

Time for the disclaimer...( no matter how much i wish i didnt have to do it)

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**Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight. i own nothing!*looks away and makes a face* No enough of my rambling!**

**ON WITH THE STORY!  
**

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My kids tugged on my pants a bit too hard.

"What, I didn't do anything stupid!" I hissed.

They stared at me and I knew they thought I was only going to hurt myself in the end.

"I will not! Sheesh, you two are always on my case!" I exclaimed walking up to the house, everyone following me.

"It's only because we're worried about you mental health mommy. We don't want to see you like that again! It hurts us to see you like that!" They exclaimed. I froze in the doorway.

"I'm sorry you two. It won't be like that I promise. I won't be like that." I smiled, looking back at them.

They narrowed their eyes and shook their heads.

"Yes you will! Alice knows you will!" Nessie whispered, recalling a vision Alice had had when I was thinking of an excuse to give Edward.

I glared at her as the Cullens stared at me, frozen. "Nessie, you know as well as I do that I know that! Do you think I enjoy scaring her like this? It's not my fault he made this choice!" I hissed at her, shaking.

E.J tugged on my sleeve. "C'mon mommy. You're going to collapse soon." I felt the tears and nodded.

"We're sorry. My sister knew that no matter what I wouldn't stop being an emotional wreck. She died last year so bringing her up isn't a good idea in this family." I whispered, making up a quick lie.

A sigh of relief came from them as they nodded.

"Thanks for coming over. You can come over when ever you feel like it." I smiled as E.J pulled on my sleeve

."Mom, you have about 30 seconds." He hissed.

"Okay already! I know what I can do…" I trailed off as I fainted.

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Hope you enjoyed! please dont get frustrated with my short chapters.! i put up chapters after them for a reason you know!

good chapter?

if not please tell me how i can make it meet expectation!


	9. Emotional overload

Hello! thanks for reading!

Lives for reviews! Dont mind flames!

At the bottom there is a little plea... please make me a happy fanfic writer and fulfill it.

Any ways time for the disclaimer!

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**Disclaimer: Meyer owns the story that is Twilight. sadly no matter how much i wish i wont own it... ENOUGH OF MY RAMBLING!  
ON WITH CHAPTER EIGHT!!**

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I woke up in my room in the middle of the night. I sat up and my kids were sprawled across the bottom of the bed. I was supposed to be angry with them but couldn't. They were just looking out for me, whether or not it hurt others.

I made my way out from under them and went downstairs.

"Oh!" I gasped as I saw the Cullens sitting in my living room.

I looked at the clock in the kitchen and it read 7:00. Ugh, I still had to make dinner and do my homework.

"We wanted to make sure that you were okay." Alice murmured, worried.

I smiled and nodded. "I understand. Are you hungry? I have to make dinner for the kids." I already knew their answer.

"No thanks." They all said together.

I smiled and made my way over to the kitchen.

When the smell of spaghetti and meatballs filled the room, I decided to sit with them.

"So why'd you come to Forks? If you like fast cars you should've gone somewhere where –" I cut myself off when I saw their faces fall.

"Did I say something?" I asked, trying to sound as if I didn't know.

They shook their heads and I listened to their thoughts.

**Emmett**

_I can't believe my little sister isn't here to tease this time around. Edward you know this is your fault for making us leave her again._

I growled mentally at that. Is that all he could think about? Teasing me?

**Jasper**

_I can't take how everyone here feels, now! I know how much you all miss her! I miss her too, okay! Just please at least try to keep you emotions under control! Edward's this is entirely you fault!_

I knew Jasper would feel horrible with this but to this extent! I never thought that was possible! Everyone was so sad!

**Rosalie**

_I miss Bella. There's no one to be angry at here. At least no one who will do nothing about it or try to make things better. I miss our weird relationship! Edward THIS IS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT! You took away one of my sisters!_

My mind froze for a minute. Rosalie, who always shown hate for me, **missed** me? Oh god, the apocalypse is coming!

**Alice**

_Edward you did this! You made living here hurtful! I __**hate**__ you! How could you do this to us!? To __**me**__?! Do you not care about what you did to her? You made her die on the inside! She was dead the moment we left her! Do you not care? She __**loved**__ you! She was your soul mate! What could've possibly have gone through your mind when you thought leaving her was the right idea? When has leaving her been a good idea? You know what it did to her the first time! Why, huh, why!? Did you want her to __**die **__or did you expect her to just wait again? Edward if she had waited, she would be on her deathbed right now! You __**KILLED **__my best friend! You love to torture both yourself and me don't you?_

I froze as I heard Alice's thoughts. She missed me more than anyone did that was definitely clear. I felt my tears pour over. Alice would be crying her eyes out if she could. She wanted nothing more than to cry. She wanted people to know how much misery she was in. It wasn't fair that Alice had to feel this because of me.

Then there was **Edward.**

_I KNOW OKAY! I KNOW! You all don't need to yell at me! I know what I did was wrong! I miss her! I wish I had never done that! I wish I could take back that day and not have left! I wish I wasn't so stupid! I loved her and now I have to pay because of it! So don't tell me how much you all miss her! I know already! So just, shut up! It hurts me more than you can imagine when someone thinks about her!_

I felt myself blush as my tears slid down my face. Edward missed me so much! He knew that leaving me was a mistake as soon as he did.

Everyone looked at me curiously.

"Bella what's wrong?" Alice asked, coming to sit next to me.

I shook my head and cried into her shoulder.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to hurt your feelings." I cried.

Alice patted my back and said, "Bella it's not your fault. We were just remembering an old friend. We really didn't want to leave her."

I nodded and wiped away my tears.

Suddenly I heard hurried footsteps, skid and a thump. I got up franticly and watched my don and daughter detangle themselves from each other.

"You two… What did I tell you about running? You two know you two end up tripping downing the stairs. Seriously it isn't a race to see who can get to me the fastest!" I said picking them up and putting them in their seats.

"I'm perfectly fine so quit worrying and eat. After that I want no excuses and you two have to do your homework." I growled pouring them spaghetti.

They scowled but nodded.

The Cullens had followed me into the kitchen and looked at me confused.

"They're only three. How do they have homework?" Edward asked in a voice with pure curiousity.

"They maybe three but they're in an advanced school for gifted children. Right now they're learning certain things even I don't know." I said in envy.

They keep learning about things I didn't really care about.

"Interesting, like what?" Edward asked fascinated.

I smirked. I was going to have fun with this.

"Well, E.J wants to become a surgeon when he grows up so he's researching about the history of Forks surgeon in the past 60 years." I smiled as they froze.

"What about Nessie?" Edward asked in a strained voice.

"Well Nessie wants to become a writer so she's researching Shakespeare and other famous writers." I smiled turning back to the stove.

I wasn't going to eat. We were going to go hunt after they left.

"Interesting… are there any writers in your history?" he asked suddenly.

* * *

I dont know if you could call that a cliffy or not but thats chapter eight!

i'm a bit downhearted that not that many people review.

after i put up chapter 9 (I promised that i'd put them up in 3 or 4s) i probably wont put up anymore until i get more reviews.

i want at least ten. that isnt too much to ask is it?

welll see you in chapter 9!


	10. Lying but telling the truth

Okay chapter nine is full of mostly everyone's thoughts. I tried my best to make them sound like the actual characters.

Read and tell me what you think!

Lives for reviews (and apparently I'm dieing because because almost nobody reviews... thanks to the people who do! i'm not completely deads cuz of you!) Dont mind flames!

Time for the disclaimer! (odd i almost sound happy that i have to do the disclaimer...whatever*shrugs*)

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**Disclaimer: The lady that goes by the name of Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight! NOT ME! No matter how many times i wish upona star it wont ever happen! Sorry watched Pinocchio last night... ENOUGH OF MY IDIOTIC RANTING!**

**ON WITH THE STORY!!!  
**

* * *

I didn't expect that. I thought about whether or not to lie or tell the truth. I decided to do both. it was the easy way out.

As i thought of what to say i listened to Edward's thoughts.

I smiled inwardly at what I heard.

_Maybe a descendant of Bella's is an author. Or maybe Bella was with a pen name._

Sheesh he was just as obsessed as I was.

I nodded, "My grandmother, Isabella Marie Swan. You wouldn't have heard of her. She only wrote for specific group of people." I explained.

They all frowned. "Why did she do that? Didn't she want people to read her literature?" Alice asked.

I nodded. "Then why?" she asked again.

"She never published them because they were made for a specific family. They would've loved the books… if she was able to give them to them before her death." I said, sadly.

"She made them for one family? Why would she do that? It doesn't make sense." Jasper queried.

I smiled, "Well she made them for two actually. One for our family and the other set for another. They were the famous Cullen family she used to talk about before her death." I smiled as they froze and glanced at each other.

"The Cullen family?" they asked, similar curiosity yet tightened voices.

"Mmhm. The Cullens and the Hales. She even wrote a letter in each book especially for each one of them." I smiled.

"It was such a wonderful memory whenever I think about her talking about them. She always used to talk about them with a smile of pure happiness. I asked her why and she told me that it was because they were her family and that even if she had to wait for all eternity she would wait for them to come back. I knew by the way she talked about about _him_ I knew she wouldn't get together with any other man. I wanted a love like that was something so genuine." I paused.

They looked at me confused.

"Oh my grandma was in a relationship with one of the Cullens before they left when he left she was heartbroken but soon got over it when she learned she was pregnant with my mother who had me." I smiled and finished proud I didn't cry one bit.

They looked at me with surprise in their eyes. I looked up at the Cullens and frowned, my kids laughing silently in their heads. They looked at me confused by my expression.

"My grandmother always kept her stories guarded though…like she was keeping a big secret from me. I always asked her why she was editing, but she just told me 'It's a secret I will take to my grave.' I asked her what that meant but she just skipped away pretending to not have heard me. I would've asked her again if she didn't trip every time she tried to skip." I said frustrated.

They looked at me shocked. I smirked inwardly at their thoughts.

**Emmett**

_I can't believe she took our secret to her grave. She really is like a little sister to me!!! I just wish I could tease her about the fact that she and little Eddie finally hit it off._

I rolled my eyes at Emmett. He only ever thought of teasing me.

**Alice**

_Aw, Edward and Bella! That means she's __**your**__ descendant, Edward. That means I'm her great aunt! Oh my god! I can't believe I'm an aunt! Wait... that doesn't make sense. i saw Bella die as a teen... hmm... Aw, whatever I'm an aunt! Yippee!!_

I sighed in relief. Alice was so close to getting suspicious. i knew it would happen again but i hoped that she would guess it away from Edward.

**Rosalie**

_I can't believe she had a baby and kept it quiet! If she was alive I would kill her for keeping it quiet and not letting me be a proper aunt! I guess she isn't half bad for keeping our secret quiet even though she is somewhat a vampire._

Rosalie was becoming kinder and kinder to me in her thoughts by the minute.

**Jasper**

_Wow, I can't believe you left her after doing __**that**__ with her! Edward you and I both know that's wrong._

Jasper was the only one thinking what was the only rational thought anyone would think after hearing that.

Edward wasn't even paying attention, though.

**Edward**

_Good lord, I have a granddaughter! I can't believe I have a granddaughter. I also can't believe I have great grand children! I didn't even think it was possible!_

Edward was in both complete shock and amazement. Edward was so happy! Imagine how happy he would be if he knew these two kids were his! I almost decided to tell him right then and there that I was the real Bella. Almost.

My children laughed out loud not being able to hold it in any more.

"Sorry, mom! They're just so funny! We couldn't help it!" they laughed, falling out of their chairs.

I sighed, shaking my head.

"You two… well they are aren't they?" I smiled involuntarily.

The Cullens looked at me startled but I just shook my head. I looked at the clock. Edward seemed to have follow my gaze.

"I guess it is late isn't it? Our parents are probably worried. We'll see you at school tomorrow." He said walking towards the door. I nodded and waved goodbye as they walked out to their car.

I sagged into a chair. "Today was a long day." I sighed, falling asleep in the chair.

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Tell me what you think please!!!

I'll put chapters 10, 11, and 12 when i get 10 reviews! so if you want them up please review!

See you in chapter 10!


	11. Thoughts

I know this chapters short and i love everyone whos kept up with this fro now! i promise no more slip ups!

please dont attack me out of frustration! now I've apologized so its time for disclaimer.

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**DISCLAIMER: SM owns Twilight. i own diddly squat... wierd for one i cant think of something stupid to say in the disclaimer... anyways**

**ON WITH THE STORY!  
**

* * *

Next thing I knew it was the weekend. The whole week I was keeping mine and the Cullens newly acquired fans away from us. Alice looked at me with something I could only see as regret.

"You must really miss him." She whispered, as everyone played with tag with Nessie and E.J.

I nodded as my kids laughed and attacked Edward. Alice laughed and I smiled. Alice looked at me suspiciously.

"Bella, why don't you ever laugh freely? You only smile and when you do laugh it's always guarded." She asked tilting her head to the side.

I shook my head. "No reason. I just don't laugh that much." I quickly lied.

She looked at me, as if trying to understand what I meant but soon gave up and joined in on tag. I watched the sun set as everyone laid lazily on the floor. (Sun didn't hit over my house. It was cloudy.)

I sighed, frustrated. Everything was going so easily. Too easily if you ask me. They still didn't know I was the real Bella. Knowing they've had more than 100 years to tell the difference between a vampire and a human, they were doing really horrible. I got up and walked into the house frustrated.

After making dinner for the kids I sat at the table and pretended to do my homework. I lazily thought about how everyone would act if they knew.

Alice would've been ecstatic to know I was still alive. She'd probably throw a huge party just to welcome me back. Emmett would make fun of me nonstop. If I didn't love him so much I'd probably hate him till the day I died. Rosalie… how would she act… either overjoyed or over depressed. Jasper would be happy because Alice and everyone else were happy.

Out of everyone's reaction the only one I couldn't think of was Edward's. I knew his thoughts told me he loved me but that didn't mean that he necessarily wanted me around. It should though shouldn't it?

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okay i know this chapters short but bare with me! you trying to write chapters and when you post them you end up posting the wrong chapter and then having to go back and fix it later! its frustrating okay! and i am really sorry for the mistake!

Please dont hate me and review!

See you in chapter 11... i hope... if i dont make a mistake and put this chapter somewhere in the first 9... dont ask how i could make that happen with out knowing it because believe me i can make that possible


	12. Talking

See? like i told you! this is chapter 12 and i told you id see you in chapter 11... I'm really stupid.... any way I'm too lazy to talk nonsense right now so disclaimer!

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**DISCLAIMER: SM owns everything that is twilight... she might own other stuff but i don't stalk her so i wouldn't know!**(She does own The Host as well)

**ANY WAYS... ON WITH THE STORY!!**

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I sighed in frustration and bit my bottom lip before I muttered something I knew they would hear. I thought of all the days I had spent with the Cullens, my smile growing bigger by the second. I didn't even notice the back door creak open.

"What're you so happy about?" E.J asked standing next to my chair.

"The usual thoughts about your father." I smiled patting his head.

"What was their father like?" A velvety voice said near the door.

I looked up and Nessie was tugging on Edward's hand to come sit down.

"He was a very sweet man." I said as he sat down, Nessie on his lap.

"Mama, I don't think that's what he meant." Nessie bubbled, her face pink and a big smile in place.

I looked at her shocked. She's never smiled like that in all the 50 years she was alive. I smiled pleasantly at her, before returning my gaze back to Edward.

"He was always looking out for my safety. He never thought of the pain any of his choices would bring him. He only ever thought of me." I scrunched up my nose, annoyed, at the thought of Edward lying.

"He thinks he's such a good liar but his eyes always gave him away." I frowned, causing Edward to tilt his head to the side confused.

"Never mind about that. He was the perfect man as some of my friends had put it. Always caring, always there when you need a shoulder to cry on, always loving you. My friends never looked beyond the face though. They all thought of him as nothing more than a cute face on a wonderful body. I have to say I agree with them about that. But they didn't even know one tenth of the actual man." I smiled turning my gaze to the backyard where Nessie and E.J had gone back out to play with the rest of the Cullens.

"Is it hard for you to talk about him?" Edward asked in a whisper.

I shook my head. "Rarely now, it's easier for me if I don't say his name but it's all starting to become easier." I murmured keeping my eyes on the purples and the pinks in the sky.

"I guess it's because of you guys." I grinned turning back to him.

He looked at me surprised. "You guys make Nessie and E.J happy and you guys are always comforting me. I don't mind talking about him now that I know people won't pity me." I explained.

He looked pained. "What?" I asked concern in my voice.

I looked into his thoughts when he shook his head.

_Had Bella too involved with us and now! One of her descendants! One of __**our **__descendants is too involved. Can't I give her a normal life?_

The boy really knew how to piss me off.

"Don't you hate him though? He's been gone for three years now." Edward asked, concern flashed through his eyes.

I didn't answer. I knew if I did I would've began crying.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I shouldn't have asked!" Edward said eyes frantic.

I shook my head and wiped my hand across my cheeks to check if traitor tears were there. Sure enough they were. I couldn't help myself now.

"Everyone tells me I should hate him. Everyone tells me that he doesn't deserve me. Everyone says these things when they **don't** know him!" I cried, letting the tears flow freely now.

"He **had** a reason! I know he did! I know he wouldn't do anything like this if it wasn't to keep me safe! He's the best man any girl could ask for! He's the best man on the planet and he chose me! Plain old Bella! Why does everyone have to hate him? I don't. If I don't then they have no right to either." I hicced, wiping my hand vigorously across my face.

He reached out and touched the back of my hand. I shivered at the touch. Even when we were both vampires why did he have to have that affect on me?

"Bella, I'm sorry. We don't hate him. None of us do…well except maybe Rosalie but that's just Rose. We just want to get to know you as best we can. Please don't misunderstand; we all care for you like you were our sister." He whispered his pleas for me to stop crying in his voice and head.

I nodded and smiled. "That's a nice thought. Being a Cullen. I wonder what that would be like." I mused watching him stiffen.

I smiled inwardly. It was so much fun to torment him.

They soon left after that, saying they would see me on Monday.

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Okay i skipped about 4 days but i had spent ten chapters on just the one day! if i did that with all the other days this story wouldnt end until **way** later. Sorry for any inconvenience! please dont shoot me!

Review and tell me what you think!

See you in chapter 13, for sure now!


	13. Embarrassment wars

Chapter 13 here! I'll try my best to make sure i have no more slip ups!

Please review and tell me what you think!

Now its time for the stupid disclaimer

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**DISCLAIMER: SM OWNS TWILIGHT! i own nothing... ON WITH THE STORY!!!**

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I sighed, annoyed. The Cullens were going "camping"** (A/N: not referring to the fact that when it's sunny they stay at home. Am referring to them going hunting farther away.)**

So they weren't in school for the last couple of days. This meant I had more admirers. I had my whole torso over the biology table as I pretended to stretch. I closed my class as the bell rang. When the second bell rang I became aware of someone's presence next to me. I turned my head and Edward looked at me curiously.

I sat up startled. "I thought you guys were camping?" I hissed as Mr. Blander began to prattle about something unimportant.

"Well everyone else is still gone but I decided to come back early." He smiled.

I nodded, blushing. I hated that he still had that affect on me.

Suddenly Mr. Blander called on me. I turned my head away reluctantly and frowned up at him.

"Well Ms. Swan? Do you know the answer or where you not paying attention?" Mr. Blander asked, smiling wickedly.

He really enjoyed tormenting and embarrassing his students by catching them when they weren't paying attention. I sat there annoyed as everyone watched me.

"You know Mr. Blander, your students would like you more if you didn't torment them so much." I sighed sitting up.

He looked at me shocked because I knew what he was up to. As if a student in this school didn't know his way of teaching.

"The answer is that there isn't one. You didn't ask a question." I smirked, watching his face fall into a frown of disapproval.

"Yes, well… that is correct." He mumbled, trailing off, blushing.

Everyone laughed. I rested my head against the Bio counter again.

I didn't know why Mr. Blander wanted to embarrass me so much… it might have had to do with the fact that I always ended up embarrassing him…well he deserves it! I mean honestly! Why'd he become a teacher if he didn't want to be near children?

"Bella, what're you thinking?" A silky whisper came from somewhere behind me.

I mumbled back, "Mr. Blander's always bugging me, trying to embarrass me. And every time I end up embarrassing him. When is he going to get it in his thick skull that I'm not stupid! Besides he doesn't even like children! Why did he want to be a teacher if he hates us?"

I yawned as he talked about dissecting something next week.

"Hmm, that's a very interesting question." He murmured, smiling down at me.

"Plus I think he hates me." I whispered back, putting both hands around my head.

"Why do you think that?" he whispered interest clear in his voice.

I sighed and turned to look at him, "Every other day he's on my case. You'd think he'd learn after the first month but no! He has to annoy me! I just end up embarrassing him every time." I whined.

He looked amused with my ranting but I was too lazy to check what he was thinking. Suddenly the bell rang and I got up.

"See you later?" I asked as he walked me to the gym. He nodded, smiled, and walked away.

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Just to make things clear, they do figure it out!

The Cullens arent stupid here... okay maybe they are but i made them that way for a reason! if they knew right away what would be the point of the story? Any other questions?

... sorry i thought itd be easier to answer most frequently asked questions in the chapters.

Dont mean to sound mean!!!

Review please!

See you in chapter 14!!


	14. The library

I'm soooo sorry this is late! don't you just hate writer's block? its so frustrating!!!

Tell me what you think!

Tally-ho! Time for the disclaimer... don't ask...I'm really happy today for some reason...

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**DISCLAIMER!!!:The lady who goes by the name of STEPHENIE MEYER!!! sadly i cant truthfully say i am her.... enough of my idiocy! LET THE CHAPTER BEGIN!!!**(... aha i changed it up form the usual on with the story!!... any ways...)

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Gym passed by in a blur. I wasn't even thinking when I shot a swish from the three point range, causing my admirers to love me even more. I walked over to my car. I drove home in a daze and met Edward's Volvo in my garage. Neither him or my kids were outside. I walked in and they were showing him school photos.

"Hello, nice to see you remembered me." I smiled as they ran over and hugged me.

"Nice to know you missed me too." I laughed as I wriggled myself out of their holds.

I was sitting in my living room with Edward as the two of them laid across the floor watching what ever was on. Suddenly Edward cleared his throat. I looked at him confused.

He gave me a sheepish smile, "You said your grandmother had written books for the Cullen family she knew," he stopped to watch my face as I nodded yes.

"Well I was wondering… could I see them?" he asked looking away.

The seconds ticked by and I still hadn't said anything.

"Bella, if that's not a good idea then you don't have to! I'm sorry those books are for Cullen eyes only, aren't they?" he said turning to me with frantic eyes.

I smiled and shook my head, "It's not a problem. C'mon. I'll show you."

I stood up and headed to the stairs. E.J and Nessie followed shortly tailed by Edward. I opened the door across from my room. Inside was a library filled with books.

"Wow! You have all these books in a house this small?" Edward asked walking over to the more new looking books.

"Mmhm, my grandmother, my mom, and me all collected books." I smiled as Nessie walked over to the mahogany desk.

She pulled a huge drawer out and I pulled out a box.

"Is that it?" he asked eagerly.

I laughed and nodded. I looked through the books. There were only 7 books. They were the same book but their covers were all different so that I knew who to give them to.

I pulled out a lightly faded blue book and handed it to him. He opened it hungrily but stopped when his eyes scanned the little note on the first page.

_Dear Edward, _

_I love you…I know you wanted me to move on but I didn't and I won't… even if I die before you get this please remember that._

_Love, Bella_

If Edward could cry he probably would be. It wasn't much but it was enough to make him ache for me. He slowly flipped through the book. I watched him.

"You know you could take it home. I have copies of them in a separate box." I smiled.

He looked at me longingly. He wanted to.

"Thank you. You don't know how much that means to me." he murmured sitting in one of my little chairs.

"Don't I?" I mumbled looking at Nessie and E.J reading college level books behind the desk.

He looked up confused but I just shook my head and smiled.

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... okay i get what you mean when you say the Cullens are stupid here... I couldn't think of any other way to make this story so just deal with the stupid Cullens!

I still have writers block so bear with me! like right now i cant think of what to write here!!!...

SEE YOU IN CHAPTER 15!!!


	15. Books and notes

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First off that break line above this is pissing me off... okay now that that's been said... i hope that i pinned their reactions well!

Tell me if i did!!!

Its time for the disclaimer...-.-;... do i have to do that?

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**DISCLAIMER: SM owns Twilight! i own diddly squat! There i said it!**

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I watched him for a while when I heard my front door bang open. I jumped and walked to the library door.

"Guys are you here?" Alice called.

"Up here!" I yelled walking back to the library.

Didn't they know the meaning of knocking? Or do they really enjoy breaking into my house?

Alice danced into the room and froze when she saw the book in Edward's hands.

"Why does Edward get to read one of your grandma's books?" she pouted turning to me.

I was surprised she didn't try to pass the fact that she knew what it was as something else. Maybe she thought it was obvious. It wasn't really. I made sure they were unique compared to any other book out there. I ranted on in my head until my kids eyed me, telling me I hadn't answered her yet.

I laughed and handed her a bright orange one.

"Yay, thank you Bella!" she squealed hugging me.

I handed Emmett a grass green one, Rosalie a pale red one, and Jasper a pale yellow one. They all sat down eagerly.

"The notes my grandma left should be in those ones. My other set doesn't have them and she told me to give these ones to the people I thought best would understand them." I explained as all their thoughts concentrated on the notes.

**Alice's**

_Alice, you're my best friend and I'll always miss you. Please don't feel sad if you got this after my death. You the best friend and you always will be no matter what._

She kept a straight face but I saw her choking sobs out in her mind.

**Emmett's**

_Emmett you annoy and tease me like crazy but… you're the big brother I never had. Thanks, I won't ever forget you, Bella._

Emmett began coughing madly. It took me a while to understand he was covering up his sobs with it. It was funny to think of Emmett crying. I know it was wrong but I started coughing to cover up laughs.

**Rosalie's**

_Rosalie I'm happy that I got to know you… thanks for caring about me even though you didn't show it,_

_Bella._

Rosalie was a bit of a disaster and it was kinda scaring me. If I had feared the apocalypse before I don't know what I had to fear now.

**Jasper's**

_Jasper, thanks for helping me and I know the little snap wasn't your fault so don't worry about it. You're like a brother to me too. I don't want you to been seen by me in any other way. Bella._

I watched as happiness as well as sadness coursed through him. He was happy that even though we didn't have any time to actually have a relationship that I saw him that way. He was sad because we had no more time to build a relationship.

I watched all of them read quietly to themselves. Each book saying the exact same thing because the one book was made for this family. I soon got bored of watching them and got myself a book.

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First off people need to tell me if the colors of the books pinned them correctly!

im a bit obsessed with colors today too...

I got writers block and it sucks! i can only write like this when i do.

Hope you enjoyed the chapter!

SEE YOU IN CHAPTER 16... i hope... if emmett doesnt attack me for making Bella couch-laugh at him while he was cough-crying...


	16. Going crazy!

Okay i know i promised some one id have it up by either friday afternoon or saturday morning and im sorry its either late sunday night or early monday morning!!! , dont hate me!

... okay that thats ever with (claps and smiles broadly) Its time for my special thanks to all those have helped me whilst i had my writers block! you all get **BIG** hugs from me!!! (sorry a little poor at the moment so thats all i got! XP)

_**SPECIAL THANKS 2:**_

**_TWIMOM!_**

**_cute-vampire-chick1995!_**

**_missey801!_**

**_... i think thats everyone... if its not im sooo sorry! _**

Just so you know i probably wont be using all your ideas. not that they werent good! i really liked them! i just didnt see a way to fit it ALL into the story. i am going to do bits and pieces of everyones. i promise! okay now im getting sick of being sweet... ON WITH THE DISCLAIMER!!!

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**DISCLAIMER!!: I dont own twilight or edward in all his awesome hotness! SM OWNS HIM NOT ME!!! *realizes words are true and starts to cry* O-on with t-the st-story! *makes poor attempt at hiding tears than runs off into corner as everyone reads on***

**

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**

**Edward's POV:**

I sighed. Being away from Bella at night always left an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I would've gone over and watched her all night but always thought better of it. She was my granddaughter! Spying on your grandchildren had to be against the law somewhere right? I sighed and flopped on the bed in my room.

I looked at the duvet, sadness quickly replacing my concern. On this bed Bella had promised to marry me. This was the bed I had left her in the day I left her for good. The day i ruined our chances together. I had run again just becasue Bella had a couple of bruises after we had made love. I had promised her that I would never do that to her again and I do it anyway! I was such a horrible person. Even if I don't go to hell for what I was I was going now, for what I did to her. To my Bella. I was about to let grief have me when I thought better of it. Bella never wanted to see me like this so why should I act like this with out her around?

I sighed again and looked out the window. Suddenly my door banged open and Emmett was hovering over me.

"C'mon mister unhappy! Let's go hunting! It'll get your mind off of Bella." he said pulling me to my feet.

I sighed and nodded.

Jasper and Emmett were trying their best to cheer me up. It wasn't helping though and I suggested maybe I needed time to myself. They nodded and I ran off searching for the nearest mountain lion possible.

I saw it in the trees stalking a poor little bear cub. I smirked as I watched it. When it was about to pounce I attacked. I cracked its neck with my foot and watched it twitch a little before going unmoving under my feet. I sat on the floor and began drinking the animal's blood.

As I sat there the most delicious scent met my nose. I turned here and there but came up with nothing.

"I was sure that smelt like…" that's when I saw her.

Bella was perched in a tree about 50 feet away from me. I got up and blinked to make sure I wasn't dreaming. She was gone. Her scent was gone, like the wind itself had died. Her whole presence disappeared.

I sighed and shook my head. I was just imaging things. Like Bella would be around. She died. Our granddaughter told me so. And even if she was she wouldn't look like the same Bella I left. She'd be old and wrinkly. I looked at the tree for a little while longer before a thought hit me. Bella was too clumsy to walk along a flat, stable surface without finding something to trip over. There's no way she could've climbed a tree. I laughed at my stupidity of thinking such a thing was possible.

I laughed the whole way back to Jasper and Emmett.

"Hey guys!" I laughed.

They looked at me like I was crazy, which I probably was. I had just fucking daydreamed! Like any sane vampire does that!

I sighed and was immediately aware of someone watching us. I turned my head around before the two could ask why I had gone tense. I glared at the bushes for a while as they continued to sway in the breeze.

_GRR!!! I'm going crazy! I keep seeing things that aren't there! Maybe I spend way too much time with Bella. She's making me think of my Bella so much to the point of insanity. ARGH! THIS IS SO STUPID!_

I heard a little giggle as I continued to rant on in my brain. I swerved around, trying to find the source of the noise. When I didn't hear it again I turned back to the guys.

"Uh, you mind explaining bro?" Emmett asked eyebrow raised.

I shook my head and looked up at the starry sky, a first for Forks.

"I don't know. I keep thinking I see Bella everywhere… I think I've finally gone crazy." I sighed.

Emmett laughed, "Edward you _are_ crazy!"

I was glaring at him, trying to burn him with my stare, when Jasper spoke.

"Edward, he has a point. You are definitely crazy." I turned to him, about to argue when he put his finger up.

"You know I wouldn't have to say this out loud if you just read my thoughts like you always do." He sighed shaking his head.

"His brains too full of Bella at the moment." Emmett laughed.

I was 100% sure I had heard a hiss from behind be but thought better than to check. Jasper and Emmett think I was even crazier.

"You see Edward, it isn't like you're insane asylum quality but you are indeed crazy. First off, you fell in love with a human girl and on top of that you want her blood more than anything else. Second, you left her once. Third, you left her a second time. Seriously, you saw how much she needed you. You knew how much you needed her. Hell, even Alice and I knew. You're the one who left her. If you're starting to hear things that aren't there besides the voices in your head than I guess it's time you start to realize that this its just payback. You left her and she went crazy. Now she's left you forever and you're going crazy." Jasper finished.

I thought about it for a couple of minutes. He could've been right about countless things. This could've been all my past coming back to haunt me at once or I could just be too crazy for my own good. That's when I heard the growl.

I turned around surprised. No one was there of course. I _was_ going crazy. I just hoped it would go away quickly. Thinking of Bella hurt too much.

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Okay I know it wasnt that crazy but I needed Edward to still be Edward in this. If he wasnt than he wouldnt have realized just how much he hurt Bella. I am also aware of the fact that this is a small chapter.

yeah well... TOODLES!!! SEE YOU IN CHAPTER... 17!!! *still wondering if Emmett plans on attacking me...*


	17. Suspicions and SHOPPING!

OKAY HERES CHAPTER 17! hope you like! tell me what you think!!!

Right! again my special thanks:

(Dont be grumpy with my rambling before the story. if it wasnt for these people i would be stressed out right now as to how to get this story moving again.)

**TWIMOM!**

**cute-vampire-chick1995!**

**missey801!**

**again if i forgot anyone please forgive me! *most likey too lazy to go check deeper. thats just the way i am tho so you cant get upset!***

LETS GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD!!

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**DISCLAIMER: god, i REALLY hate doing this. cant i just say edward's mine? must i say that he and everyone in the fabulous book that is twilight belong to Stephenie Meyer?... i guess i know my answer... SM OWNS IT ALL! I OWN NOTHING!!!... even though i feel crappy now... ON WITH THE STORY!!!**

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Alice POV

I saw Bella round the corner and watched as she walked towards us. My plan was setting into motion today.

I smiled and walked over to Bella.

"We're going shopping today!" she opened her mouth to protest but shut it again.

I ruffled her hair. She was so cute. So much like my Bella.

"That's right. There's really no reason in protesting. This is how it's going to work. We're taking Edward's Volvo and everyone else is going in your car to look after the cars… I mean kids." She laughed, but there was an edge I didn't understand in her voice.

I mentally began to sing the Shugo Chara! theme song. Edward was trying to figure out what brought on the random shopping spree. I looked at Bella who seemed to look just as frustrated. I watched her quickly turn it into a depressed look as I continued to stared at her. She walked off to her first class, her shoulders slouched and I smiled. She's become a really good actress in the past 50 years.

After school I walked over to the parking lot to see Bella already leaning against the passenger side of the car laughing with Emmett. When they left I took the extra precaution of singing the Shugo Chara! theme song. I knew that there might be a possibility that this was my Bella and she was just lying about being her granddaughter.

If indeed she was my Bella then she could have powers that I wouldn't be aware of. She did laugh at some things that you couldn't see, like Edward. Most likely she could read minds. I didn't want her to see that I was trying to get her to admit that she was Bella.

When we stopped outside the mall, I heard Bella groan and smiled. Just like old times.

While we were in the first store I decided to kick my plan into motion.

"So, Bella," I asked calmly.

She turned her head to show she was listening.

"How do you feel about Edward?" I watched her blush.

This was going to be easier than I thought.

"You know Edward isn't always the safest choice out there." I stated, dragging her off to the change rooms.

"He may be dangerous but he's not a bad guy." She replied smiling.

I watched as she realized what she just said and quickly hid herself in the change room.

"You must really like him!" I called over the door laughing.

I would have to let it go for now if I wanted to remain inconspicuous.

I took Bella to the food court after a couple of hours. Bella walked up to an already over crowded _Manchu Wok_. I sat down and watched as all the men in the line let her in front. I stifled my laughs as she tricked them. When she came back I watched her push her noodles around.

"Bella, I know this may be something you don't want to talk about but could you please tell me about the father of those two kids?" I whispered, watching her as she purposely kept her head in her plate now.

"Um, I don't know if can. I mean I _can_! I just don't think I_ should_." She mumbled, twirling her fork in her noodles.

"Bella, you can tell me anything! I'm your best friend aren't I?" I persuaded.

She nodded and sighed, "He left me because something went wrong. I can't tell you what but he left and then I learnt I was pregnant with the twins. I couldn't contact him so I couldn't tell him. I know that if he did know he'd very much want to be apart of their lives. That's why I can't bring myself to hate him. I love him too much for there to be room for hate."

She paused and looked up at me. She looked like she was contemplating as to whether or not to tell me something.

"He left with his whole family. His sister was my best friend, no offense. But I do kinda hate him for taking her away from me." she whispered, looking away.

I looked down at her uneaten food.

"Are you finished?" I asked, pointing at the tray.

"I guess I just wasn't hungry." She replied picking up her food and getting the food to go.

I looked at her confused. She didn't say anything as we walked away from the food. I watched her give the food to a homeless person who was at the time digging through a trash can.

"Here, you need this more than I do." She smiled, handing him the bag. The man grinned and hugged at her. I watched and felt the involuntary smile creep on my face. Bella was the same kind Bella as ever.

We walked in silence for a while until we got to a shop that made Bella freeze. The only other time I had taken Bella here was when I saw that Edward's resolve was weakening.

"Is something wrong Bella?" I asked her in an innocent voice.

I watched her stare at the neon pink words.

"Yes Bella we're going into _Victoria's Secret_. Is there a problem with that?" I asked, rolling my eyes as she continued to stare at the words.

"If you keep staring at it you're going to have the letters imprinted on your eyes." I sighed, dragging her in.

As I pulled clothes off the racks I had to stop Bella from sneaking out countless times.

"Sheesh, Bella! It's a couple of pieces of lingerie!" I scolded her after the 15th time.

She squeezed her eyes shut and whined, "But I'm a mom, Alice! I _don't_ need lingerie!" she began her attempt at pulling her arm out of my grip.

I sighed. "Don't try. You're not going anywhere until you try _all_ of these on."

She glared at the stack of lace that I was holding in my other hand. After a while of giving the fabric the stink eye she sighed and gave in.

About 20 different outfits later she began to get frustrated.

"I don't want to try on anymore! Don't make me Alice!" She wailed.

I smiled, wickedly and shook my head, "Bella, I'm having fun! Don't wreck this for me!"

"Alice, can't you find someone else to torture?! I mean seriously! Didn't you already have your full on torturing me last time!?" she wailed, walking out from behind the curtain.

I watched her freeze.

"What last time?" I asked the grin obvious on my face.

She took a step back before she sighed and hung her head.

"Sorry, my sister Alice used to do this with me a lot before she left…" she trailed off blushing.

I smirked.

She was still trying to pull that one on me?

"Bella, will you _**please **_stop pretending I'm not me. I mean it's pretty obvious that one of us would find out! You guys kept leaving so many hints!" I explained, pulling her over to a couple of chairs.

"Stupid twins…" I heard her mumble.

"Bella, why are you trying so hard? Do you not want us to know?" I asked her quietly as she shook a little.

"I _don't_ want to lie! I _don't_ want to hide," she cried into her hands. I reached out to touch her but thought better of it.

"But that's the only option I'm left with now! I don't know how you guys would take my being alive! How could I tell you I was me when you guys miss me so much! You guys would've left me, again! Two times I can deal with but a third? Do you actually expect me to be Bella when you guys came back the forth time? If there _is_ a forth time…" I watched her cry as she began to shake her head back and forth in denial.

She wouldn't believe me.

Suddenly she hissed. She pulled her head up enough to glare at me.

"Will you _please _stop singing the Shugo Chara! theme song? I mean seriously? There are other songs you know!" I looked at her shocked.

"So you can read minds!" I exclaimed, clapping my hands together.

Bella sighed and nodded. "I can also put up a mind barrier to repel other mental attacks and make myself look human right down to the food eating bit." She replied reluctantly.

"So it actually tastes like food?" I asked eager now.

She nodded and pulled on a smile. "I am happy you know, honest! I just don't want Edward to find out yet." She whispered.

"Okay sweetie. I promise not to tell him. Out of all of us he'll probably be the last one to know." I smiled.

She laughed and nodded.

"Well I guess there's nothing else to do about this now. For now let's just make Edward more crazy than he already is." I smiled getting another laugh out of her.

Before we left I did buy her all the stuff she tried on much to her disapproval. She blushed and I laughed. I was going to have so much fun bringing back the old less defensive Bella.

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BWAHAHA!!! awesome thing that Alice knows. she's the best at hiding her thoughts from Edward on a regular basis. okay now that i have this chapter up i can explain. i had these two chapters written on friday afternoon. i just couldnt decide which one to put firt and i tried everything! form tossing coins to asking everyone in my house to pick either one or two! Finally i have them both up and im happy my stress level gets to go down a bit. XP!!

TOODLES! SEE YOU IN CHAPTER 18!!!

...

0.o... OH MY GOD!!! I ALMOST FORGOT SOEMTHING UBER IMPORTANT!!!!

How do you like my writing form someone other than Bella's POV!?!

this infrmation shall be a big help to my in developement new story....

oh and one more thing! my original plan was to make only 20 chapters. i could stick to it or would you like me to expand it some more?

If you review then you'll be a big help to both my writing skills and my ego!

OKAY TOODLES FOR REAL NOW! SEE YOU IN CHAPTER 18!!!!!... one more thing.... should Emmett get back at Bella for cough-laughing at his cough-sobing? ive been thinking of many ways for him to get back at her and it would involve him both knowing and a whole chapter dedicated to **_his _**payback.

TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK!!! .!!!


	18. Happiness and tears

Heyo! Heya! Hiya! Hiyo! how do you do? *tips hat to you* pleased to meet your acquaintance... okay I'll stop now... this chapter is only written with the help of **TWIMOM**'s suggestion on the Carlisle and Esme. I'd also like to thank **cute-vampire-chick1995** for her tips to get rid of writer's block and her helpful ideas. i am going to use one of yours for sure! just not yet. And **missey801** for her help on making the desision on a whether or not i should put a certain scene in there.

THANKS TO EVERYONE ELSE TOO FOR THEIR REVIEW!!! if it wasn't for you i would most likely be somewhere in a hole crying because i was unsuccessful... okay enough of the depressing crap.

ON WITH THE DISCLAIMER!!!

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**DISCLAIMER:**** I DONT OWN TWILIGHT OR THE AWESOMENESS THAT IS EDWARD CULLEN! SM OWNS IT ALL AND I OWN DIDDLY! well i do own my giant teddy bear but other then that nothing!**

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Bella's POV**

I slumped in my seat as Alice drove back to Forks. I sighed and looked out the window. I didn't want her to know that I was glad she knew. She was after all my best friend.

"Bella, is everything okay?" Alice asked after a while.

I peeked into her thoughts. She was practically screaming the theme song to Mermaid Melody Pichi, Pichi Pitch. I looked at her annoyed.

"You're singing the theme song to a show you don't even watch inside your head. You know after about the 50th time it gets annoying." I glared.

She smirked and changed it to Death Note's theme song.

I groaned and threw my head back in frustration, "I hate you, Alice."

She grinned and suddenly the car turned.

I sat up. We were going down the overly long driveway to the Cullen mansion. I looked at Alice shocked.

"Alice, I _don't_ want him to know yet!" I hissed as she parked.

"Don't worry! Edward and all the others for that matter are still at your house looking after E.J and Nessie." She smirked as she got out.

I sighed in defeat and climbed out. Alice met me at my door and we walked to the back door of the Cullen mansion.

"By the way, what exactly does E.J mean?" she asked as I shoved the door open.

"It means Edward Anthony Masen Cullen junior." I clarified sagging into one of the breakfast nook's chairs.

"Really now?" she smirked.

I groaned, "You're absolutely evil Alice."

Her grin widened and she walked over to the living room.

"Carlisle, Esme? We have a guest," she called up.

The Cullen parents came down the stairs slowly, eyeing me confused.

_What's Alice thinking? Bringing a human into our house? Something terrible could happen to her… like Bella… No, I will not allow __**that**__ to happen again!_

Esme was in pain by just thinking about me. I smiled sadly as they reached the bottom of the stairs. Carlisle eyed me curiously where as Esme froze, clutching onto his sleeve. She looked at me wide – eyed and glanced to Alice.

"You're Bella aren't you? Our kids talk about you a lot." Esme managed to get out.

I nodded in acknowledgment. I couldn't find my voice. I felt the tears coming. I was seeing my mom after so many years.

"Bella, these are my parents, Carlisle and Esme." Alice smiled, no doubt knowing what was going to come next.

She was blocking her mind so I couldn't be sure as to what was going to happen.

I smiled and tried to speak but couldn't. The three looked at me questioningly. I shut my mouth and turned to Esme. I walked over to her and wrapped my arms around her. She looked at me for a second then bursted out in dry sobs.

"Bella, I missed you so much! Don't ever do that to me again! Do you know how worried I was about you when you were human? I thought you had died all those years ago! Don't ever scare me like that again!" she cried hugging me back.

I nodded into her chest.

"I'm sorry Esme. I missed you too. I'm sorry I won't leave again." I cried.

"I missed you so much that words couldn't possibly begin to describe how much." I sobbed.

I pulled out of her embrace and sniffled. I turned to Carlisle who smiled warmly and opened his arms for me. I hugged him and cried and said I was sorry so many times we could have been there for hours instead of the few minutes. I pulled away and sniffed once more before smiling.

Esme and Carlisle looked at me confused as I wiped away the left over tears.

"I can make myself look like a human and can do all of the human things. Oh, and I can read minds and block other physic powers." They looked at me surprised.

"I know. Not even gifted vampires have that many powers." I smiled.

They nodded a bit dazed. We sat down and I told them how I spent the last 50 years as did they.

"What?" I asked surprised.

"Bella, you aren't the only one who's been having fun." Alice teased.

"No, um, but you guys could've _died_! I can't believe Aro thought that was something _fun_ to do! I'm going to have to talk to that man!" I said appalled.

They looked at me confused.

"About 10 years after I became a vampire I went and saw them because they would've attacked you if I wasn't a vampire. Aro and I became good friends after the other two got over not being able to start a war against you guys. I'm surprised he didn't mention the fact that you guys had already fought. He's in for it now." I explained thinking of all the things I could do to the old man.

"Bella, you won't do anything of the sort! I will not tolerate my children starting unnecessary wars." Esme said firmly.

I nodded and looked at my feet.

"Alice," I asked after a couple of minutes.

"Yes, Bella?" she responded, excitement clear in her voice.

"Do you wanna play Bella Barbie?" I heard her squeal and she hugged me.

"Thank you so much Bella! I haven't played Bella Barbie in so long!" she exclaimed.

I rolled my eyes and smiled at her.

"We should get started. Everyone else is going to be here in about 45 minutes." Alice informed us as she pulled me to my feet.

I looked at Carlisle and Esme franticly.

"Please don't tell him! I don't want him to know yet!" I pleaded.

They nodded and smiled, "Bella don't worry."

I smiled and let Alice drag me upstairs for hours of 'fun' torture!

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There's chapter 18! hope you enjoyed it! and i suppose you're wondering why Aro would be 'in for it'. well that's very key to this story. not for the reasons you'd think. More for the reason that he deserves payback.

for many things, one of them being he scared the crap outta me by jumping from my closet! (XP! yes i have many vampires hidden all over my house!)

okay now that my fantasizing is outta the way... seeing as you already read, please review! i love them and most of the time if I'm not too busy i WILL personally thank you for it... in a really weird way...

plus i might just give you a hint or two about the coming chapters... Not everyone is going to get the same hint so if your hinty hint doesn't chow up right away don't think i lied!!!

okay... i really need to calm down... maybe im just happy my writers block cleared up long enough for me to write this chapter... ANY WHO!!!

READ~REVIEW~AND~REFRIGERATE! XD!!! (srry was in the mod for the three rs)

... wow this end note is really long... ANY WAYS!!!

TOODLES!!! SEE YOU IN CHAQPTER 19!!!!!!!!!


	19. Dont be sad

was sup! got this new chapter up and running! was it only yesterday when i put up the other one? i guess i dont have writers block anymore! Yippee! Hooray! Yahoo! GOOGLE!! (said Yahoo just had to say Google)

Special thanks to **TWIMOM** for her help with the ideas. Special thanks to **cute-vampire-chick1995** for her help on getting rid of icky writer's block. (Don't worry! i liked your ideas too!) and last but not least,** missey801** for her help with making a decision!

okay now that my idiocy and thank yous are outta the way. hope you enjoy this chapter! tried extra hard on it!

ON WITH THE DISCLAIMER!!!

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**DISCLAIMER:: ****I OWN DIDDLY! SM OWNS THE INCARNATION OF HOTNESS, EDWARD CULLEN, THE CULLENS, AND TWILIGHT! *is crying to self because this is true.*

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****ON WITH THE STORY AND ENOUGH OF MY RAMBLING!!!  
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Emmett's POV**

We were driving back to our house, E.J and Nessie both fast asleep on my Rosie's lap. She really looked like a mother with the way she looked at the two of them. I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

"Emmy stop making kissy faces!" a voice came from her lap.

I looked down and Nessie was rubbing her eyes. I made some more kissy faces before kissing her on the forehead. She wiped her forehead as if I had just slobbered all over it.

"Ew, Uncle Emmy that's just gross." She grinned up at me.

I grinned back and before the car came to a complete stop I jumped out of the car and took her with me.

She looked at me shaken.

"Awe, is poor Nessie afraid?" I smirked as she wriggled her way free of my grasp.

Even though I was super strong the way she wiggled helplessly always made me let her go. She stuck her tongue out at me and walked to Rosalie's side, wrapping her little arms around her leg.

"Emmy scared me Rosie!" she cried.

Ooo, she was good. Rose glared at me and scooped her up too.

"It's okay. I'll deal with Uncle Emmett later." The smile on her face could kill.

"Awe c'mon Nessie! We were just playing!" I pleaded.

She turned to look at me over Rose's shoulder and smirked as if she knew something I didn't.

"Have fun tonight Emmy." She grinned before Rosalie walked into the kitchen.

I followed them.

When we had all gotten to the living room Rosalie let the two on the floor. I heard an 'OW!' and an 'Alice that hurts!'

I smirked, "Bella's over for a makeover?"

Carlisle nodded and Esme looked up at the stairs.

"Just wait a little longer!" Alice called down annoyed.

I heard a 'damn you Alice' and then silence.

The silence cleared my head. I walked over to Nessie who was playing on the floor with E.J's foot as he slept. I crouched down next to her and tapped her shoulder.

"Hey Nessie," I whispered.

She looked up curiosity clear on her face.

"What did you mean by 'have fun tonight'?" I asked.

She smirked and shrugged. She turned back to E.J's foot and began playing with it again.

"Awe, c'mon Nessie! What'd you mean!?" I asked or more like pleaded.

"I meant what I said. Have fun." She grinned.

I heard Edward laugh from across the room.

"Emmett, you're asking a 3 year old if you're gonna get any tonight?" he laughed.

I growled and Nessie looked at me startled.

"Uncle Emmy," she asked horrified.

I looked at her, shocked with myself. I heard crying from next to us and E.J woke up.

"God, Emmett can you not scare her!" Jasper asked, no doubt feeling the mood.

I sighed and walked to the back door. I didn't want to scare them anymore.

**Nessie's POV**

I watched Emmett walk out the door. He was really upset with himself for making us scared. I didn't want to upset him but it was the only way to get him to get off the topic of my slip up.

When Auntie Rose was putting E.J back to sleep, I mentally told him "_I'm going to tell Uncle Emmett about us, okay._"

he responded with a quick, "_Okay, Nessie._"

I heard mama growl in her mind and I screamed back, "_As If you have a better idea! He's our uncle! Do you think we want him to be sad because we were scared of him? That's just retarded! As if we're ever scared of him! He's like a teddy bear! He wouldn't harm a fly!_"

And with that I got up off the floor and walked out of the house.

It took me a while to get over all the logs and such but I eventually got to where Emmett was sitting.

"Uncle Emmett," I called before I tripped on a root.

Emmett picked me up.

"Nessie, what're you doing out here?" he asked wiping the dirt off my front.

"Uncle Emmy looked sad. I wanted to sheer him up." I spoke quietly, looking over his shoulder as I hugged him around the neck.

"Don't worry about me Ness. It was my fault for making you two scared." He laughed as he took me to a fallen tree.

We sat down on it and I looked at my feet.

"Uncle Emmett," I murmured after a while, looking up at him.

He smiled and looked down, "Yes Nessie?"

I quickly turned away and blushed. Emmett laughed at me.

"You're so much like your mom. It's hilarious." He boomed.

My blush just deepened as I said, "Uncle Emmett you know you're a lot like my great grandma's friend Emmett." I spoke quietly.

He froze.

"Really now? You knew your great grandma?" he asked in a strained voice.

I looked at the floor and nodded, "Mmhm. She died 6months after I was born."

His face became one of ancient sadness. He really missed mama.

I was telling the truth though. 6 months after E.J and I were born mama became a vampire. Emmett wasn't looking at me anymore though. He was staring ahead no doubt trying to cover the pain on his face.

"You know," I started to get his attention.

He turned and smiled at me. I sucked in a deep breath.

"Your mind shouldn't be full of such sad thoughts. Mama wouldn't like that." he looked at me wide – eyed.

"Excuse me?" he choked out.

"Seriously why does everyone find it so surprising? I mean daddy can read minds. Why can't his kids?" I grinned up at him.

Realization crossed his face and he grinned back.

"Wow, seriously? That's Bella in there?" he asked in a hushed tone.

Inside his mind he was thinking of all the different ways he could make up for 50 years lost of teasing.

I laughed and nodded, "Yes, but, Emmy, you can't tell anyone. Grandma and grandpa both know as does Auntie Alice but they're blocking their minds right now because mama doesn't want daddy to know just yet." I explained.

He nodded and began going over sports statistics in his head.

"That's brilliant but could you please sing something inside your head? It's very amusing to watch daddy get frustrated." I asked.

He grinned and began singing the Higurashi no Naku Koro ni theme song. I laughed and he scooped me up and we headed back to the house. As a result of Alice's thoughts of Alice, Bella was finished with Bella Barbie. I couldn't wait to see daddy's thoughts.

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Hope you liked it! I worked extra hard on it because its very difficult for me to do one chapter with two people's POV. dont ask why because even i dont know why.

Tell me what you think and i will always thank you!

... even if they are flames...

TOODLES! SEE YOU IN CHAPTER 20!!!


	20. Pain and remembering

Heya people!! sorry it took me _**forever**_!

believe me if i wasnt drowning in mountain load of homework *shudders* (really hate that word) i wouldve put it up sooner!

hope you enjoy!

It explains why bella **_wont_** be telling edward of her own accord any time soon... okay enjoy!

... damn... its time for the stupid disclaimer... do i honestly have to do it? *fan girls eyeing me evilly "Edward aint yours!" backs away slowly from evil, phyco crazys* dont really wanna die so...

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**DISCLAIMER:**** Sadly(because i value my life) i must say dont own icy cool Edward Cullen or the rest of them *tears up* lady called Stephenie Meyer does... *Looks at fan girls tearing up too* WAAAAAAAAAH!! *fan girls and me***

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Sane coco: _okay... while my other half cries ima tell you to do two things_

Crazy coco:** WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! EDWARD!!!!**

Sane coco: _*looks at crazy coco* youre a bit obsessed dont you think?_

Crazy coco_: _***stops crying and stares at twin* youre a bit under obsessed dont you think? i mean this IS a TWILIGHT fanfic!!!**

Sane coco: _Good point. well at least im subtle about my obsession. * acts all cool and turns away*_

Crazy coco:***looks at sane half for a while then turns back to fan girls* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!**

Sane coco: _*rolls eyes* anywayz, those two things i want you to do. first, read the chapter!_

Crazy coco:** *stops crying for a sec* Isnt that why theyre here?**

Sane coco: _Why dont you shut up and go back to crying over edward? * watchs crazy half cry with fan girls* i swear i dont know how im related to her! ugh! she keeps distracting me!_

Crazy coco:** Thats my job! * grins before turning back to fan girls***

Sane coco: _Yes well... and the other thing is that i want you to review! if you dont i'll sick my crazy half on you..._

Both cocos: _**ENJOY!!!!**_

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**Bella's POV**

I was sitting on the off white couch in the living room of the Cullen mansion. I was lazily flipping through the channels as my two kids played with toys. They were so good at keeping my secret from Edward. Well, so was the rest of the family…

_I still haven't told Rosalie and Jasper… guys? Should I do it today?_

I thought. Nessie nodded and I sighed. E.J looked up, eyes gleaming.

_Fine! What's it with you two and wanting to tell everyone in the family I'm me?_

I thought bitterly. Nessie smiled sweetly.

_Because we know you want them to know. And besides it's fun to see daddy frustrated. You know that's true. So don't argue and E.J you're in charge of telling Auntie Rosalie got it!?_

I stared at her. When did she get so bossy?

Then I grimaced, "You spend too much time with Alice…" I trailed off when I saw the pixie glaring at me from the top of the stairs.

"And what's wrong with that? She is my niece after all." Alice huffed as she ran down the stairs.

Everyone else had gone hunting though they told my they were going "camping" and as usual Alice found a way to convince me to stay over.

I sighed.

"Alice, I'm not playing Bella Barbie. I'm serious." She grinned back. I cocked an eyebrow.

"E.J's plan is going to work out perfectly!" she squealed.

I looked at E.J and he was blocking me out as was Nessie.

"Grrr! I hate you three!!!" I said. Nessie laughed.

"It's also funny to see mommy frustrated." E.J laughed.

"Not as much as daddy though!" Nessie laughed

. I growled at them and all three of them were rolling on the floor laughing. I huffed and turned back to the TV to watch my favorite version of _Romeo and Juliet_.

Alice sighed as I ignored her. She came and sat next to me.

"Bella, do you really think it's fair to torture him? You know how much he regrets leaving you twice. The first time was tolerable but the second time was literately hell," suddenly Alice's face became unbearably sad.

"Then when we thought you were dead…," she looked at me with pain in her eyes.

I wanted to know what was causing it but she blocked me out.

"You can't imagine how many times we had to make sure he didn't run off to the Volturi." I stared at her, mind blank. So that was it. She didn't want me to see that.

I began crying. "I know he loves me and I know I'm tormenting him because I look just like my 'grandmother' but when he left I felt…," I tried to think of a word that could at least sum up a fraction of the pain I felt. "It was excruciating. It was like I had no insides left. Like I wasn't human anymore. He wanted to go to the Volturi?" I took a deep breath as pain coursed through my veins.

"How about killing your self in every way possible except the one that would end the pain completely? How about crying until you couldn't and then cry tearless until you could again? How about blaming your self for 50 years because _I_ wasn't good enough for _him_? What about the pain I felt? Don't I get to make him feel my pain? I've felt his pain times 10 stronger! _He _left _me_! It made me feel like…,"I turned away.

"It made me feel like even though he loved me I couldn't satisfy him. I didn't meet up to expectation. Like he didn't want me because I wasn't _good_ enough! Do you know, how that feels?" I turned back to her eyes blazing, tears pouring down my face as I remembered that day.

"I've been to hell and back and some! I hate that I'm doing this. I hate that I can't kiss him! I hate that I can't hug him and have him think that it's me he's hugging and no his great granddaughter! I hate it okay!? Stop telling me that I shouldn't be doing this! I miss him and it hurts! But I don't have that much of a choice, do I?

It isn't tolerable for _me_ to see him and for the pain to ripple through me! It isn't tolerable for _me_ to fell lonely at night because he isn't there! It isn't tolerable for _me_ at all for him to be in _pain _when he thinks about me! It hurts okay! I know what I'm doing is wrong but can you honestly tell me that even though he's shattered me in many ways and has crushed my reason for living that I shouldn't torment him a little? I should welcome him open-armed instead of letting him feel how much pain I felt for being rejected by my one and only love? I wouldn't be alive _at all_ if it weren't for the fact that I had Nessie and E.J!" I screamed at her.

"You don't know how it feels to have your insides turn to stone. To have all meaning in life disappear just because one thing was gone. It feels horrible! It feels like everything in my world was blown up just so the destroyer could watch me try to survive. I can't ever escape the pain I feel! Do you know how horrible I feel every time I so much as I lie to Edward? I feel like even though he left me I'm the one betraying him! It feels like I'm putting up this façade to protect him even though it hurts me. He doesn't want me alive anymore. He wanted me to die and that's what he thinks happened to me! It hurts me when he thinks of me in the past tense! It hurts, Alice! It hurts! It hurts so much I could die!"

I sucked in a deep breath and said, in a voice normal humans wouldn't have a chance of hearing, "Alice can you honestly tell me you wouldn't feel the same way if Jasper did that to you? Would you be able to smile like you do on a daily basis? Would you be able to be your hyper, energetic self if he wants you to forget him?"

She looked at me with pain in her eyes. My head was swirling with the pain i say as she thought it.

"Bella I'M SO SORRY!!!" she cried hugging me."

I'm so sorry we left you! I'm so sorry I went with him! I'm so sorry you had to endure all that! it must hurt so much!" she cried.

I heard a strangled cry some from the back door and looked over. Rosalie stood there clutching onto the door frame, crushing it.

"Bella?" she squeaked.

I cried and nodded, "Hi Rose."

She was hugging me too in less than a second.

"Bella, I've missed you! I couldn't believe it when Edward told us we were leaving again! I won't ever let that happen again! Alice and I will stand our ground and make sure we stay! Emmett too!" she cried.

You… so much pain!" she cried. Alice joined in. I smiled and hugged them. "I missed you guys a lot."

* * *

i know, i know. its a very painful chapter. it hurt me jsut thinking about it! you cant imagine how much pain i felt while i was writing it!

anyway this chapter was just how much pain bella felt when edward left. most of it does make sense. honestly can anyone say they wouldnt feel that way if after your first night your soulmate walks out on you without an explanation? even though bella know how much it hurting edward and that fact is hurting her she wants him to understand at least a little bit of her pain. so now you understand why she isnt telling him anytime soon.

so if no one understood why it explains it there you go!

Tell me if it touched your hearts or not! if it didnt you people have no souls... just kidding! that just means i have to work on putting more emotion into what i write... *sweatdrop...*

oh and i know the cocos were random but there are two halves to all twilighters! the sane one and the well... not so sane... oh and you'll be seeing alot of those two again... unless you dont like them... even tho they'll be upset i wont put up their thoughts anymore.

... *stuggles to think of what else to say*

Ah, whatever! i give up!

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both cocos:_**TOODLES SEE YA IN CHAPTER 21!!**_

me: whered you two come from!!?? *two of them grin at me evilly* nevermind... see you soon... if i dont die by personalities...pray for me!!!


	21. Teasing

ME: hey! sorry this chapter took forever!

_sane coco: yeah she was having major writers block for this fanfic._

**crazy coco: it was so major she decided to start another fanfic all together!**

ME: SHUT UP YOU TWO! it wasnt my fault! the book doesnt explain jasper that much!

**_BOTH: *rolls eyes*whatever you say... anyways... enjoy!_**

ME: *glares at them* you guys are so mean! i hate you two!

_**BOTH: *grins evilly* when werent we?**_

ME: ARGH!!! i hate you two! *storms off frustrated as hell*

_**BOTH: *watches me walk off*... now that shes gone enjoy with out interruption!**_

_sane coco: do the disclaimer my crazy twin._

**crazy coco:... what disclaimer?**

_sane coco: youre an idiot. *goes off to do the disclaimer*_

**crazy coco: *looks at readers* no im not. im just smart**

**

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**_DISCLAIMER:: WE DONT OWN TWILIGHT! THE LADY THAT GOES BY THE NAME OF STEPHENIE MEYER DOES!(i wonder how many people have asked to borrow them...)_

_

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__**ALL THREE OF US: ENJOY!!!**  
_

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**E.J's POV**

I looked at Uncle Jazzy frustrated. I couldn't use the same plan I had for Auntie Rosie because he was a guy. **(**A/N _I honestly don't know what his plan was. Don't get upset!_**) **

I heard my sister snicker.

_Ha! E.J's having trouble. Why don't you just go out and tell him?_

I glared at her from across the room.

_You know that if I did that then I'd have to admit that you were more creative then me. I will never admit that you're better than me at something._

She just snickered again.

_Your point? As if you're going to find a plan. Auntie Alice and I already know it. You're just going to get him alone and tell him straight out. It really isn't creative at all. I mean honestly speaking, I didn't even know how I was going to tell Uncle Emmy and I told him in a very skillful way. Just admit it E.J! You're not better than me!_

I looked away from her frustrated and walked over to mama. She was watching TV, lying on her back. I tugged on her arm. She looked down at me.

"Yes, sweetie?" she smiled.

The three of us knew that when we talked to each other with our voices we wanted to indirectly tell everyone something.

"Grandma and grandpa went somewhere with daddy right?" I asked quietly.

I watched Nessie realize what I was getting at and she snickered again.

"Yes, they did go somewhere. Why did you want to talk to them?" my mom asked, eyes twinkling.

Obviously she liked the plan.

I shrugged, "Something like that. I was just wondering where."

She grinned at me and I grinned back.

I could tell by Uncle Jasper's thoughts that he was confused by the emotions in the room at that moment. Everyone looked indifferent to the conversation but they were all highly amused.

**Jasper's POV**

I was wondering why E.J had called Edward 'daddy' when I felt the emotions in the room. I tried my best to hide my discomfort with their confusing emotions. It wasn't really a help when _both_ E.J and Nessie suddenly became sad when their emotions said they were on cloud nine. I began to have a head ache if that was even possible for a vampire. I watched them as I leaned against the wall.

I knew Alice wasn't going to buy my expression. She skipped over to me with Nessie in her hands. Nessie looked at me depressed but I could see the wicked glint of amusement in her eyes. I looked at her for a second and she quickly closed her eyes and went into the saddest expression that could possibly exist.

"Jasper, what's wrong?" Alice asked, putting a hand to my face.

I smiled.

I was about to open my mouth when E.J said, "He's just upset because he has no clue why we look sad when we're amused."

I looked at him shocked. He shrugged and sat on Bella's stomach.

"How did you…?" I trailed off.

E.J sighed as Nessie snickered. I looked at Bella then. She was blushing crimson, hiding her face behind her hair.

Then it clicked.

"No way." I whispered.

Nessie and E.J nodded. I stood there frozen as I processed this information.

"Bella?" I whispered.

She nodded and peeked up from behind her hair.

"Hi Jazzy. I've missed you too." She whispered.

I didn't think as I ran over and hugged her.

"Bella, I'm so sorry. It was entirely my fault. It's because I couldn't control my thirst when you hurt yourself all those years ago. Please forgive me!" I pleaded.

She laughed and pulled away.

"Jasper, I forgave you a long time ago. Don't you remember? It wasn't your fault at all. And even if you thought it was, it wasn't. It was Edward's and mine." She smiled.

I smiled at her. "You're very forgiving."

Rosalie snickered. "Totally."

I looked at her confused when Bella tugged on my arm.

"Jazzy, you can't tell Edward. Out loud or in your mind." She said.

I tilted my head to the side confused.

"Everyone else already knows. Bella feels that Edward should feel a little bit of the pain she felt when he left that day all those years ago." Alice explained.

"And Uncle Jazzy, we'll know if you do tell daddy." Nessie voice came from behind me.

I tensed. Her voice sounded like one of those 'We'll be watching' menacing threats. Bella laughed.

"You don't need to tease him so much," I relaxed and looked at her.

"The three of us can read minds." She explained.

I nodded.

"Jasper you need to put up a mind barrier for Edward. Everyone else has. Edward's going to be here in a minute." She ordered.

I quickly began thinking of frogs. **(**A/N_I don't know! It was random!_**)**

"Ooh, that's different. Nice going Uncle Jazzy!" Nessie whispered.

I grinned sheepishly as the back door opened.

"Hey, what's everyone been up to?" Edward's voice came.

I heard Nessie snicker.

"Nothing much," she called back as she hopped out of Alice's hands.

Edward scooped her up.

"Honest? Nothing interesting happened while I was gone?" he asked her.

I almost laughed. Edward was so clueless about the fact that these two were his kids yet he treated them like they were.

"Nope, all we did was watch TV and listen to Uncle Emmy rant on about how better he was at baseball than you."

Nessie was lying so smoothly even I believed her.

She winked and grinned at me over Edward's shoulder.

"So nothing new, huh?" Edward asked.

Nessie grinned and repeated, "Nothing new."

* * *

_**ALL THREE OF US:...**_

_sane coco: yeah... i dont know about the ending..._

**crazy coco: yeah, it aint working or me either...**

ME: .! stop being mean! it was the only thing i could come up with while i have writers block!

_**BOTH: *rolls eyes* yeah right! have you seen your other fanfics?**_

ME: I TOLD YOU! it was only for this fanfiction! dont hate me!

_sane coco: *sighs* i dont think we should be too harsh on her. she did try her best. _

**crazy coco: exactly how long has it been since chapter 20 went up?**

ME: chapter 20 went up on the 29th of march.

**_BOTH: O.o... i cant believe you! there are many people waiting you know!_**

ME: .! i know!

**crazy coco: you are so mean! they read your fanfic, comment on it, and all you have to do is write more chapters like you promised!**

ME: i know!*cowering in corner as crazy coco yells at me*

_sane coco: *looks at the us* yeah... okay. well please forgive us for the lateness of this. we promise not to make the next one as late. please dont tell me youve forgotten about us!_

ME: save-me! *crazy coco still yelling at me*

_sane coco: *smirks, watching* okay, please review, and tell us youve accepted our apology._


	22. Vision

ME: FINALLY!

_sane coco: yes finally!_

**crazy coco: finally!!!**

**_ALL OF US: CHAPTER 22 IS FINALLY UP!!! _**

ME: thank the god damn lord

_sane coco: ...dont swear it isnt polite!'_

ME: right! sorry!

**crazy coco: who gives a fuck? it shows how happy we are!**

_ME and SC: WE DO! *meant to be a growl* now go do the stupid disclaimer!*watches CC scurry off*... heheh sucker* hi-five each other*_

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_**DISCLAIMER: Coco owns nothing. SM owns it all... and i saw you two trick me into doing the disclaimer!**

_sane coco: uh... enjoy! *runs off taking me along with her*_

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**Edward's POV**

I listened annoyed. Everyone was blocking me out in the living room with some kind of entertainment. Alice with her anime shows, Emmett with sport stats, Rosalie with her clothes and then there was Jasper. For god's sake! He was thinking about _frogs_!

"What the fuck is going on?" I wanted to yell but I knew I couldn't.

E.J and Nessie were here. I heard a giggle and looked at Nessie.

"Do I get to know the joke?" I smiled at her.

She shook her head and hid her face in my neck to muffle her laughter. I looked at E.J. He was hiding his face into Bella's stomach. I looked up and Bella. She shrugged but you could see the humor in her eyes. I sighed exasperated.

"Can I _please_ know what's going on?" I asked.

Bella started to giggle. She covered her mouth to stop it.

"I'm sorry!" she giggled.

Emmett started laughing too. He was being extremely careful with his thoughts.

_It's so much fun to tease you __**Eddie **__when you don't know what's going on._

I glared at him. He knew I hated that name.

"Well, I guess no one plans on telling me anytime soon." I looked at everyone and their almost laughter confirmed it.

I groaned inwardly. What was wrong with everyone? Had they gone insane? I heard another giggle come from Bella's direction.

I felt pain wash through me. How I missed _my_ Bella's giggles. Her _everything_! She was my life and now she was gone. She was gone… because of me. Because I was stupid enough to leave her. I hated myself for making that decision. I had always hated myself for putting Bella in danger. Even when I was away from her I was putting her in danger. More than from other vampires. I was putting her in danger of _herself_. It was all my fault she was gone from this world forever. If I was strong enough- if I wasn't so set on keeping her human then she would be by my side right now. I would be holding her. I would be able to have her in my arms and whisper 'I love you' in her ear and kiss her. I would be able to have my other half with me. I would be able to be whole again.

It wasn't fair of me. I had promised her. I told myself time and time again that I was strong enough to keep from killing her but in the end I chickened out and killed her anyway. I was truly a monster. I knew that my world was over the minute Alice gasped and I saw it. I remembered it so clearly.

~*~

_I was sitting in one of the corners of the living room. Even though Esme didn't say anything I knew she wanted to see me at least, even if I was a lifeless corpse. I sat there motionless staring at the wall, thinking of nothing but how horribly cruel I was for leaving her. How I had hurt her yet again because I was a monster. I was hardly aware of Alice and Jasper's low conversation though I knew it was about me. _

_"He's __**too**__ depressed! It's making me uneasy. Alice I don't think I can take it anymore." Jasper whispered._

_ Alice nodded, "I know Jazzy, I know! But what else can we do? Force him to be happy? He misses her! He's being stupid again. He'll realize in a day or two that he can't go on with out her and we can all go back again." Alice reasoned._

_I hissed. As if I would go back and harm Bella anymore than necessary! I would never, ever go back to Forks, Washington! Not until I was sure Bella was gone. Not until she wasn't there to hurt._

_ "Edward, you know it'll happen. I've already seen it. Just do it already. Stop fighting with fate! For crying out loud, look at you! You know you can't live with out her! She won't make you beg! She'll just cry and make you promise that you'll never leave again… just like last time." She added._

_I flinched. I had lied to her then and now I had __**betrayed**__ her. She knew I couldn't stay away from her but when I left I knew what I was doing. I was killing her. I was torturing her. I was practically digging her grave myself. I was a horrible, lying, betraying, unworthy monster and I knew she would welcome me and cry and tell me she loved me over and over if I went back now. _

_As I tormented myself with the truth Alice gasped. She was clinging to Jasper's arm, digging her nails into his skin. _

_"Alice, Alice!" Jasper yelled, frantic to get her out of her vision. _

_"__**Bella**__!" She screamed and reached out to grab nothing but air._

_ I didn't bother to read her mind. Everything she thought was about how much she hated me for what I did. Every thought in her head was about Bella. I knew I couldn't take it so I didn't listen._

"_Alice, it's okay. She's okay. Don't worry." Jasper cooed as Alice cried tearless sobs into his chest._

_ "N-no," she choked out. _

_"S-she won't! Jasper you didn't see!" she cried, her voice raising an octave._

_ "Tell me, Alice! Please!" Jasper was going crazy with worry. _

_"Bella…" she trailed off looking at me. The rest of our family was in the room now. When she opened her mouthed again I decided to look in her mind. _

_"Bella's dead." Alice managed to say._

_ She let out an ear-piercing wail and turned back into Jasper's chest._

_I sat there stiff as I watched Alice's vision again and again in my head._

_**Bella looked horrible. Her clothes were all torn by tree branches and were dirty. She had ferns and leaves in her hair but her smile was triumphant. She had found our meadow. She looked so fragile as she sat on the ground cross-legged. **_

_**She whispered, "Edward, I love you."**_

_I felt a pang of guilt as she whispered it. She would always love me no matter how many times I left her heart broken she would love me. She would never think of me as the monster I was. She would always think of me as the 'much better than a lottery prize' as she had put it so long before._

_**I watched horrified as a tall black haired man stepped into the meadow. Bella's eyes lit up at the sound. She turned. **__(No doubt hoping it was me. I thought bitterly to myself) __**When her eyes fell on the man her face fell immensely. **_

_**"Oh," she said quietly, turning away from the unknown vampire behind her. **_

_I watched horrified. Hadn't she seen the dull red color in the man's eyes?_

"_**If you want to kill me, you can. I wouldn't mind it so much at the moment," She whispered.**_

_My eyes widened. What was she saying? Did my existence have this much of an impact on her? Did I make her suicidal? I shook my head in horror and pain. I hated myself even more now. I was the reason my one and only love wanted to die._

"_**But if you do, could you do me one small favor?" she continued.**_

_** The man, who had been walking slowly over to her stopped short. **_

_**"Could you make me feel as much pain as humanly possible? Could you break me?" she whispered. **_

_**The man looked at her shocked. **_

_**"I want the pain in my heart to actually have a reason for existing. I don't know why Edward left but I know he had a good reason. He always did. **_ _**I know he did! I know he wouldn't do anything like this if it wasn't to keep me safe! He's the best man any girl could ask for! He's the best man on the planet and he chose me! Plain old Bella! I don't feel any pain for losing him. He never said anything about not loving me so I **__**know**__** he still does! But I know him and I know that if he tried hard enough he would be able to keep away until I actually did die. So please? Please make this unexplainable pain have a reason. I don't understand any of it. It didn't hurt this much the first time. So please? You can have my blood. All you have to do is break me." she finished, tears streaming down her face. **_

_**The man grinned widely then, "With pleasure." And he lunged for her.**_

_**He pulled her arm, one by one, behind her back until they snapped. She didn't scream. She stood there quietly and whimpered.**_

_Bella __wanted__ this. She wanted to die! I watched horrified as the man slowly but steadily broke all her bones leaving only her spine and skull._

_** "He must've been something good for you to go through all this just because he left you." the vampire whispered, his teeth at her neck. **_

_**Bella whimpered and nodded, "He was. He was my everything. The reason I was born was so I could meet and fall in love with Edward Cullen." As she finished the man bit into her neck.**_

_I watched as her eyes widened until they were bulging and then they slowly sagged close. The blood poured out of her body from so many places as the vampire sucked and then… it went black._

_I sat there, eyes wide as Alice stared at me. Suddenly she was in front of me. _

_"YOU!" she shrieked, "You made her do this! You __**killed**__ my best friend because __**you**__ weren't strong enough! Why the hell did you bother falling in love with her if you knew somewhere along the road you would leave her? You knew that the moment you fell in love with her! I hate you!" _

_she sucked in a deep breath, "You hurt her to the point where she was nothing more than an empty shell, __**twice**__! You hurt her every time you rejected her and told her to wait until she wasn't as __**fragile**__. When she was like us! You lied to her countless times! She trusted you more than she trusted her own thoughts! Edward you destroyed her without even noticing? Are you really that __**blind**__? She loved you and you trampled all over her heart countless times! And yet she's forgiven you **every **single time after you were finished. You were right! You __**don't**__ deserve her! She was way too good for you but she chose you and you did what with it?" she asked me fuming. _

_Of course I knew it was rhetorical. I sat there staring up at her, burning in my own personal hell only worse. It wasn't like that first day when Bella had walked into our biology class all those days ago. It was like I __**wanted**__ to be there. I wasn't supposed to be alive anymore. I wasn't allowed to be. I had hurt the one thing that had changed me and had made me actually like living for this long for once. Before I would always think that I was to live for all eternity empty because of what I was but the truth was that she didn't exist yet._

_And though I had been waiting so long, I had gone and killed her. I had pushed her to a place I had countless times thought of going to the first time I left her. The time that hurt her more than anything. Not a year after I had promised to be by her side as long as she wanted I had left her with her thinking I didn't want her anymore. I hated myself._

_I sat there as the room went quiet except for Alice's strangled breathing._

_ "I hate you, Edward. I hate you." she cried falling to her knees._

_ She wrapped her arms around my shoulders and cried into my neck. _

_"Why? Why did you have to make her do this? We all loved her too. Please, somebody tell me I was wrong. Somebody bet against me and win. Anybody? I don't want to lose her. She's my Bella too." She cried, tearlessly as I sat there and stared at the opposite wall. _

_I was vaguely aware of the fact that everyone else had left us to mourn over Bella. She was more to us than anyone else that was for sure._

_I heard Alice cough and she looked up at me. _

_"Edward, I won't ever forgive you. You hurt everyone in this family because of one stupid decision." She laughed weakly then._

_ I could tell it was forced. _

_"But then again, we knew you were stupid." She paused and looked at me and my hollow eyes. _

_"Edward I'm not saying this isn't you fault." She said a after while._

_ Suddenly the whole force of everything I had just learnt weighed down on me. I looked at her through the same pleading eyes that she had before she cried into my shoulder. I hugged her and cried silently. _

_"Bella," I whispered. _

_Alice patted my head. _

_"I'm so sorry!" I managed to choke out. _

_Unexpectedly we we're both crying tearlessly. _

_"I'm so stupid! I shouldn't have left her!" I cried._

_ Alice nodded. "You're right. You are stupid."_

~*~

A hiss pulled me out of my thoughts. I looked to see three faces glaring at me. Bella, E.J and Nessie looked extremely annoyed.

"What happened?" I asked, confused.

Bella looked at me, face sad now.

"We go upset. The face you were making wasn't a happy one. It was pained and tortured. Edward, whatever you did. It's okay now. Everything's okay now." she spoke so softly that I couldn't help but believe her.

"She loves you too much to hate you Edward." Alice whispered.

I nodded, still looking at Bella. Something this Bella had said before reminded me of what Bella said so long ago. I just couldn't remember what.

* * *

ME: whatd you think?

_sane coco:..._

**crazy coco: WHAT THE HELL?!**

ME: what? was it not good enough?

_sane coco: no it was good..._

ME: then what?

**crazy coco: WHY THE FUCK DID EDWARD HAVE TO BE SO DAMN SAD?!**

ME: WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING THAT!? OF COURSE HE WOULD BE SAD!! HE JUST LEARNT BELLA WAS DEAD!

_sane coco:..._

ME: *worried now* SC whats wrong?

_sane coco: i didnt really think of it that way..._

ME: what?

_sane coco: i didnt think Edward would think like that... that he could be in such an amount of pain..._

**ME and CC: *look at each other* okay... um... since when are you the sensitive one?**

_sane coco: *stares daggers at them* since always! im not the one yelling my head off at each other because edward was in pain!_

**crazy coco: WELL EXCUSE ME! ITS NOT MY FAULT I FEEL SO STRONGLY ABOUT IT!**

_sane coco: AND I DONT? AT LEAST IT MADE ME THINK! THEN AGAIN YOU NEVER THINK DO YOU? _

ME: SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR A SECOND AND SAY BYE!

**crazy coco: BYE! *slams door to her 'room'***

_sane coco: BYE!*slams her 'door'*_

ME: *stars at doors for a bit*... well that was... different...*turns back to readers* review and tell me what you thought and please! be honest!

~~ SEE YOU IN THE NEXT CHAPTER~~...(kinda feels lonely now without them saying it with me...)


	23. Realization

ME: heheh... hi?

_sane coco: ahem... *looks away*_

ME: awe c'mon! im sorry i havent put up any chapters in forever! CC?

**crazy coco: hmph! *turns away***

ME: this cant be happening... my personalities are angry at me... is that even possible?

_**BOTH: WE DONT KNOW AND WE DONT CARE! YOU MADE EVERYONE WAIT.*stomps off angrily***_

ME: *sighs* i guess i deserve that... i really am sorry. i had major writers block because i was thinking about it too much. sorry to make you wait! *looks back at where SC and CC went off* i guess im going to have to do the disclaimer if they dont plain on coming back...*sighs again*

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DISCLAIMER: I DONT OWN TWILIGHT! EVERYTHING BELONGS TO STEPHENIE MEYER! THOUGH THE TUB OF ICE CREAM DOES IN FACT BELONG TO ME!!!

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ME: *looks back in case theyre coming back seeing no one* Enjoy! *looks back glumly*

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**BPOV**

I sat in my living room, eating a tub of chocolate ice cream. Alice had some how gotten me to let the kids go to Port Angeles with her and the rest of the Cullens because a carnival was in town. After I made sure that they wouldn't tell Edward I let them.

I sighed as I looked down at my ice cream.

"Why did you have to make things so difficult, Bella?" I whispered to myself.

If I had just told them it was me a long time ago then I would be with them. I would be laughing with them with out having to listen to Edward think of me as his descendant instead of his lover. Why did I have to make things so difficult? I love him more than anything but I can't bring myself to tell him. What would happen if he were to leave again? Would I be able to live through it again? What if I couldn't? What if the pain was too much? How was I supposed to live knowing my kids were sad that their father didn't think of them as his kids?

"ARGH!!!" I yelled in frustration. "I'm just making this difficult because I'm afraid! C'mon Bella, think of the good times!!"

I willed myself to think of all the memories I had securely locked away.

Edward when he told me he loved me more than he wanted to kill me.

Edward when he held me in the meadow and told me I was the most important thing to him.

Edward when I saw him in my rocking chair the morning after.

Edward when he told me he loved me in the woods before we went to the game.

Edward when I heard his voice in the ballet studio.

Edward when he told me he loved me and I thought it was a dream the night after Italy.

Our first night together.

All our special moments

All of our kisses.

All of our conversations.

_Everything._

With a shocking realization I cried, "Edward, why? I promised to give you everything so why?" but I knew why.

It was to protect me. Like everything else he did was. Protect me from him. Of _all_ the things to protect me from he wanted to protect me from _him_. Didn't he understand that my world revolved around him? That I couldn't _live_ without him? Everyone else seemed to understand it pretty clearly. Why couldn't he?

We were meant to be together. That's the only reason I haven't run yet. Because I know that even though I've been telling myself that it's for my kids it's because I can't stand not seeing him anymore. I didn't kill myself all those years ago because I knew that Edward still loved me. I kept telling myself and everyone that it was because of my kids but in fact it was all for him. I would do anything for him.

"Edward, you're an idiot. Everyone on this planet knows you are." I whispered, taking another bite of my ice cream.

I looked down at it for a second before getting up and taking it to the fridge.

"Life really isn't worth living without you, Edward." I spoke clearly, calmly, as if he were standing right next to me.

I sighed and tidied up my house a bit. When I found nothing else to do I walked up to my bed, content with my realization. I fell into a peaceful sleep for once in what felt like ages.

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ME: so... whatd you think? i guess all this stuff already been told but i have a master plan now!!

_sane coco: she's telling the truth! she does!!_

**crazy coco: so just bare with us! we know its been forever!**

ME: okay you two need to shut up! you guys went crazy with the opening and now you guys are all nice to me?

**_BOTH: your point? *raises eyes brow*_**

ME: ugh! your mood swings piss me off.

**_BOTH: why thank you!_**

ME: *rolls eyes* okay fine just say bye.

_**BOTH: BYE! SEE YOU IN CHAPTER 24!!! **_

ME: *in low mumble* morons...

**_BOTH: *smiling sweetly* we heard that!_**

ME: eep! bye! *runs off*


	24. Decision

ME: See! i can be awesome when i want to be!

_sane coco: so... youre saying you didnt WANT to be awesome before?_

ME: yep! i didnt want to be so i wasnt! its basic logic!

**crazy coco: she's telling the truth you know!**

ME: *looks at CC* OH GOD! *covers face with hands* i must be going crazy if CC's agreeing with me!!

_sane coco: you just realized that? your idiocy can wait for now right? _

ME: uh-

_sane coco: *doesnt bother to wait for a reply* CC do the disclaimer my sister!_

**crazy coco: ROGER! *salutes SC*... wait a minute why do i have to do it?**

_sane coco: too late! you said youd do it! MWAHAHAHA! im evil!_

**ME and CC: UM... yes you are!**

_sane coco: what ever! *rolls eyes* just do it!_

**crazy coco: fine! *grumbles and walks off to do it***

ME: HA! she had to do it!

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**DISCLAIMER: WE DONT OWN ANYTHING! SM OWNS ALL OF THIS!! AND coco I SO HEARD YOU SAY THAT!**

ME: uh... enjoy! *runs off with CC running after with one of those wooden hammers that i forget the actual names of*

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**BPOV**

I walked up and down the Cullen stairs annoyed as hell. What was Alice keeping from me? What were the twins keeping from me? Why did they enjoy torturing me so much? I pondered this for a while when I bumped into someone at the top.

"Oh, sorry Edward." I said, immediately recognizing the familiar scent.

I looked up at him and he looked down at me with a thoughtful expression. I tried to look into his mind but he was thinking about me. I smiled inwardly. He still thought about me. That was something wasn't it?

"Bella, do you mind if I play something for you?" he said after a while.

I looked at him a bit dazed, "I'm sorry what?" I asked.

He smiled my favorite crooked smile, "Can I play something on the piano for you?"

I nodded my head vigorously.

"Of course you can! What would make you think that I can't?" I rushed as he began to walk down the stairs next to me.

He let on a small smile, "Thank you." he replied simply.

When we got to the bottom of the stairs he took my hand and led me to the piano. I sat next to him as he put his fingers to the keys. I didn't take my eyes away from his face but I immediately knew it was my lullaby he was playing. I sat there silently as I heard the rest of our family slowly come into the room.

_Is mama happy?_ Nessie thought.

_Yes mama's happy._ I replied smiling.

_Edward hasn't so much as __**touched**__ the piano since Bella left…_ Esme thought.

It was getting easier and easier for everyone to talk about me as if I wasn't still alive. Edward looked up at Esme apologetically.

"I'm sorry for worrying you." he said in a voice that my human ears wouldn't have heard.

She just smiled back. I heard the familiar ending to my song and looked at Edward.

"That was beautiful." I whispered.

He smiled a sad smile. "Thanks, I wrote a while back for someone I loved."

I nodded in understanding. Of course he would feel sad about it. Anyone would.

Nessie and E.J walked over to us. They crawled up between us and Nessie looked up at her father.

"That was really beautiful. Are you gonna make something like that for E.J and me?" she asked.

I looked at her. She was being rude. She brushed of my thoughts as if they were nothing.

"Of course I will." He smiled warmly, hugging her.

I smiled as E.J tugged on Edward's sleeve and he pulled him in for a hug too. It fit so perfectly. The small smile that came onto my face made Edward raise an eyebrow as Nessie crawled onto his back.

"Oh, nothing. Just remembering something." I said blushing. He nodded and E.J smirked.

_More like committing the picture of a family to memory._

I scowled at him and a thought came to me.

"Hey Edward?" I said, calling him out of his playing with our kids.

"Hmm," he turned to look at me, eyes shining brightly.

"Yes Bella?" he smiled.

I felt and heard my breathing stop. I quickly made sure it came and cleared my throat.

"Can I know more about her? The girl you wrote this lullaby for I mean." I spoke slowly, making sure my voice only showed curiosity.

**EPOV**

Bella had just asked me about my Bella. What was I supposed to say? She was the most amazing person on the face of the planet and I was stupid enough to leave her? I opened my mouth before I could think of an answer.

"I loved her more than anyone on this planet could ever love anyone. She was my everything. She always surprised me. She was the most amazing person to me and I was stupid enough to leave her when I promised her I would never leave her again. Leaving her the first time practically killed her on the inside. I never wanted to see that happen to her… and then when she _did _die…"

I couldn't even find words to describe the pain I felt. I looked at Bella and the kids.

Their faces showed no emotion but their eyes were full of pain. I felt like crying right then. How many times had I promised myself that I wouldn't let _my_ Bella feel pain? How many times had I promised myself that I would never let Bella's eyes have that kind of pain in them? And here I was causing Bella to feel pain.

"Tell me more. Please?" Bella whispered, desperately.

I looked at her for a minute. "She was the most loving, the most forgiving person ever to exist. I shouldn't have deserved her. She always told me _I_ was the prize and she was the lucky winner but she never really saw herself clearly. She was the most beautiful creature that I've ever seen. I always felt like I was the winner. Like I was the one who shouldn't be allowed to have her. Like someone was going to take her from me and tell me that I didn't deserve her… or worse… that she'd find someone else. That was my intention when I left but I was in pain the whole time. To know that you're hurting the one you love isn't a good feeling." I spoke in a whisper now.

Bella was crying by now.

"It hurts a lot?" she asked.

I nodded.

"How much is a lot?" she managed to get out.

"More than you can imagine. More than any body could possibly take." I replied.

I couldn't take my eyes off of her brown ones. Something was so familiar there.

The pain… she broke out of my struggle to figure it out by whispering, "I'm so sorry."

Why would she apologize? It was me who had left her. It was me who had decided it was okay to hurt her to the point where she was willing to kill herself. It was all me. I hurt her.

**BPOV**

I didn't know what I was supposed to do. How was I supposed to react? Was I supposed to be understanding? And why couldn't I see into his mind like I normally could? I tried looking into my kids minds and realized what they had done. They had put up a mind block for me so I couldn't read Edward's mind. When I had said sorry, I meant it. I was so sorry for hurting him. I was so sorry that I was_ still_ hurting him. Couldn't I do anything right? I loved him more than anything? Couldn't I have done that right at least? Why did we have to make things so difficult?

That's when I decided.

I wasn't going to let us both sitting here and hurt any longer.

It wasn't fair for either of us. And it wasn't fair for our kids.

I was going to tell Edward that I'm his Bella.

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ME: well? *rubbing big bump on forehead*

**crazy coco: well what? im still pissed off!**

ME: oh come on! you made me do it last time!

_sane coco: *sighes and looks at them* youre both idiots. *turns to me* now say im sorry CC._

ME: im sorry CC!

_sane coco: and CC say im sorry coco_

**crazy coco: im sorry coco!**

ME: best friends again?

**crazy coco: BEST FRIENDS AGAIN!!!**

_sane coco: oh god, if we EVER go out in public i dont know you guys._

**ME and CC: YOU KNOW YOU LOVE US!!!**

_sane coco: thats what makes it worse!!!_

**ME and CC: YAY! GROUP HUG!!! *attacks SC with a hug***

_sane coco: *being hugged to death* please review!!! guys get offa me for a second and say bye!!_

**ME and CC: BYE!!! *attacks SC again***

_sane coco: oh god... see you in chapter 25!!_


	25. I HATE YOU!

ME: you know guys...

_sane coco: what? *all hyper and everything*_

**crazy coco: *stares at SC* whats wrong with her?**

ME: im sure... *shrugs* whatever! anyways. ive gotten more than 100 reviews! i didnt notice before.

**crazy coco: of course you didnt! you were too busy fantasizing about edward!!!**

_sane coco: *giggle* EDWARD!!! *giggle*_

ME: 0-0... OH GOD! SHE'S GONE CRAZY!!!

**crazy coco: excuse me? *raises eyebrow and puts hand on hip***

ME: YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT! NOW STRAP HER DOWN!!!

**crazy coco: ROGER! *salutes me then runs over and tackles SC to ground* AHA! GOTCHA!**

_sane coco: *struggles* LET! ME!! GO!!! *struggles some more*_

**crazy coco: BWAHAHAH! NOW I AM SUPERIOR!!!**

ME: *raises eyebrow* whatever just do the disclaimer *shakes head and walks away*

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**DISCLAIMER: WE- SHE-... WHATEVER! THAT PERSON - *points to me* DOESNT OWN TWILIGHT! SM OWNS TWILIGHT! AND CAN YOU HELP ME coco!? SHE'S ATTACKING ME WITH A SPORK! WHO GAVE HER A SPORK!?**

ME: oh... i wasnt supposed to do that? whatever *shrugs again* enjoy! thanks for reviewing again!!! *feels CC giving me the evil eye* see you at the end!!! *grins totally unaffected*

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_**ALL OF US: YOU HAVE TO READ THE END!!! ITS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!!!!  
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**BPOV**

I was laying on the couch, my kids sleeping on my stomach. Suddenly Nessie shot up. She was the best at picking up others thoughts no matter how far away they were or if she was asleep. Then again… E.J and I didn't bother to pay enough attention to actually give a damn about what others were thinking. We only ever paid attention to the Cullens' minds. I went back to daydreaming when I heard cars pull into the garage. I looked up and Esme and Carlisle were standing in the archway between the kitchen and the living room. I got up, waking up E.J and straightened out my clothing.

I replayed evil things I could do to Emmett if he gave too much away when I heard _her_. I hadn't ever heard this voice and I looked at the door curious. Emmett and Rosalie walked in followed by Jasper and Alice. They were in a little semi circle around E.J, Nessie, and I when I saw the door open a third time. I felt myself shatter, mind and body.

Edward walked in with a strawberry blonde, his hand around _her_ waist. I was shaking. Alice and Rosalie looked at me. When my knees gave away they held me up. I heard Emmett growl in his mind. I smiled at him weakly. Jasper wasn't feeling so well and I motioned for Emmett to take him away from the pain. He nodded and they were gone.

Edward looked shocked. I mustered all my strength and pulled myself up.

"Yes Edward, I know what you guys are." He looked torn.

I wasn't even going to listen to his thoughts.

"You…," I couldn't continue as pain washed over me.

I looked at Alice and Rose as I felt the tears. I couldn't look at him. Not with the intentions in _her_ mind.

"Edward I think you should take Tanya upstairs." Carlisle said quietly.

I turned to look at him shocked.

"No he won't!" I growled.

Everyone looked at me. Nessie shook her head.

_Mama, you're going to give yourself away. Do you want to do that? Don't you want to tell him yourself?  
_

I looked at her horror – struck. I didn't know what I wanted anymore. If I told him now he could leave with out a second glance but if I didn't I could lose him forever. I couldn't think straight and I felt my heart shatter. I chose to let my emotions take over. If things go horrible I could handle it.

I step back as Edward made his way to the stairs.

"This can't be happening." I whispered shutting my eyes, hoping the sight would go away and I was dreaming.

"No… someone please! Wake me up! No! Make it stop!" I cried, causing Edward to stop at the bottom of the stairs.

"Mommy?" E.J asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Please! I can't take it anymore! It hurts too much! I don't want anymore misery. It hurts! Alice!" I asked turning to her frantic.

She shook her head. I turned to Rosalie. She looked at me for a second before turning away.

Everyone wanted _me_ to tell him, _now_?

"I'm sorry! I can't take it! He's going to hate me! He'll leave! I can't take anymore pain! Please help!" I begged, falling to my knees.

Nessie and E.J looked at me disapprovingly.

"Guys, I can't take it! I just can't." I whispered. I couldn't anymore. Not with this going on.

They turned away from me and I looked at them wide-eyed. They've never done that before. I turned my head to Edward. He was looking at me confused as I had my emotional break down. I cried harder as he tightened his grip on Tanya. I couldn't think straight. I couldn't see straight. I couldn't do anything! The pain surrounded me. I cried as I looked at him. His thoughts were so far away. They were an echo.

All I heard was:

_She looks so much like Bella did when I left her…_

He let go of Tanya and walked to me. He crouched down in front of me and whispered,

"Bella, why are you crying?" he asked.

I could tell he was in pain but at that moment I didn't care. I was in too much pain to. I heard Nessie's thoughts and growled. She quickly jumped into Rosalie's hands. I looked at Edward through tear soaked lashes and saw the pain. I wanted it to go away but I couldn't summon my voice. Alice put her hand on my shoulder and I shoved it off.

I heard every one gasp. I never flinched away from Alice. I stood up and backed away from everyone.

"You all knew. You all knew this was going to happen and you didn't bother to tell me! You thought that I would just tell and it'll all be over! I hate you! You think this was such a good idea now!? I HATE YOU!" I screamed as I ran out of the house.

I wouldn't going to go back. I _couldn't_ go back. Edward had finally gotten over me. I wasted too much time. He wasn't mine anymore. He wouldn't care if i was alive anymore.

Pain rippled through me as I thought this.

I ran without thinking.

I ran to the place that started all this pain.

I ran there, begging it would end what it started.

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ME: so? whatd you think?

_sane coco:... *gets out from under CC* HOW THE HELL COULD YOU MAKE IT POSSIBLE FOR EDWARD TO DO SOMETHING STUPIDER!?!!_

**crazy coco: *on feet too, yelling at me* AS IF WE NEED EVERYONE ELSE STATING HIM BEING STUPID! NOW YOU'RE SO GOING TO GET IT!!!**

ME: WELL SORRY!!! ITS KINDA MANDATORY! IF THIS DIDNT HAPPEN THEN THE REST DOESNT HAPPEN!

_**both: *look at each other then back at me* LIKE HELL WE CARE! MAKE THIS BETTER! IF YOU DONT IT WONT JUST BE US WHOS GONNA BE GIVING YOU WHAT YOURE GONNA BE GETTING!**_

ME: LIKE - wait what?

_**both: YOU KNOW WHAT WE MEAN!!!**_

ME:... no i dont... okay guys i know Edward jsut broke the stupid -o- meter (if thats even possible for his) but honest to god, its madatory!!! please! its gonna work out!!! promise!!

_**both: IT BETTER! OR ELSE YOURE GONNA GET IT!!**_

ME:... GET WHAT?!!!

_**both: WE DONT KNOW YET! WHY DO YOU THINK WE KEEP CALLING IT 'IT'?!?!!**_

ME: *stares at them for a second...* i give up. ive done everything. you two are beyond help now. *shakes head and turns to readers* honest, Edward's stupidity has a main factor in this chapter. as its been throughout the whole story. so dont worry. everything is going to work out. promise!!! dont kill me!!! i wrote two ways this chapter could go and this one was WAY better. the other had to do with bella making horrible jokes... im writing the next chapter as fast as possible! i'll have it up REALLY soon!!!! promise!!! again DONT kill me!!!

_**both: *drowning out my last sentence*SHE SAID YOU CAN KILL HER IF YOU WANT TO!!!! SHE KNOWS THIS CHAPTER WAS HORRIBLE AND MEAN!!! OKAY BYE NOW!!! SEE YOU IN CHAPTER 26!!!**_


	26. Breaking and Denial

Sc and CC have been locked up in their rooms for this chapter. I am terribly sorry for the wait. I have a life though. I was gone for a school trip where there are no computer and even if there were I wouldn't have been able to post the next chapter because I'm not the rest of you people who have laptops!!! And even if I did I highly doubt the teacher would have allowed me to bring one because this was supposed to be a trip that was outdoorsy... but I'm back so don't worry!

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EPOV**

I didn't need to think to know that I had to run after her. I ran out of the house along with the rest of my family. I tried to find Bella's scent but it was nowhere.

"Mama can do that." E.J said from where he perched on my back.

"Yes. Mama can…" Nessie repeated.

I looked up at her. Her eyes seemed glazed over. I wanted nothing more than to know why. Was it because she didn't want to believe that Bella had just run? I would give anything to know what was going on in her mind. That was when I heard the thoughts of the people I _could_ hear:

**Alice:**

_Edward that was your Bella just now! Honestly, can't you stop lying to yourself?! She's been in pain since she first heard your thoughts about her!_

**Emmett:**

_Edward, wake up! I don't want to see my little sister sad… if I ever see her again._

**Rosalie:**

_Edward, you better find her! You should've seen how much pain was caused just by Alice asking her if Bella should stop 'torturing' you! Find her and bring her home!_

**Jasper:**

_Edward, Bella is in a lot of pain. I wasn't close to her and I could feel it. We all can't take it, much less me. You caused it. You fix it!_

I knew how very right they were. I looked everywhere for Bella. I was somewhere in the mountains when Nessie got off my back and looked up at me. Her chocolate brown eyes were cold, expressionless.

"Your family is right, you know. You need to fix this. Momma isn't in the right state of mind at the moment. She has it in her mind that you have gotten over her. Please stop pretending like you don't know that momma is your Bella." Nessie pleaded.

I looked down at her like she had spoken total nonsense. _My_ Bella had died. _My _Bella had practically begged another vampire to kill her because of me. _My_ Bella wasn't alive. She couldn't be. I watched her die.

"STOP IT!" Nessie screamed, doubling over.

I made a move to comfort her as she clutched her head in pain but E.J stopped me.

"Leave her alone. She needs to deal with this herself." He said.

Deal with what?

"She's Bella! She's _your_ Bella! She's… she's…" she sounded like she was in so much pain...

Nessie looked up at me with those same cold eyes. There was no emotion in them. They were lifeless… dead. They tore me apart.

"_You_ killed her! _You_ shouldn't be allowed into her life again! _You_ hurt her until she was nothing but an empty shell! Do you know how it feels to have to take care of your mother instead of having it the other way around? I _hate_ you for what you did!" she screeched, her voice becoming higher and higher with each word.

I looked at her dumbstruck.

She hissed, stood up straight, and turned away from us.

"Obviously, you don't want to believe a word of what I have said because you're an idiot. You have to go so deep into denial? Why did Alice have to have that stupid vision? Why did all of this have to happen?" she said, mostly to herself.

I was vaguely aware of the fact that my brothers and sisters were here with me while I stared at the little girl.

"As if you deserve my momma! She would have killed her when you left! The day you told her you were leaving was the same day she stopped living! When we were born we knew we had to take care of her even though we barely knew anything!" she screamed into the trees.

She was talking to herself now and we shouldn't have listened but we did anyway.

"But that isn't my Bella. My Bella wasn't like this." I whispered without thinking.

Everyone turned to glare at me but I kept my eyes on Rennesme.

"How did you know my full name?" she asked turning to me.

I looked at her confused. She looked at me, impatient.

"Bella was mumbling in her sleep one night about a baby and she said Rennesme." I replied.

Her eyes narrowed and she turned away again.

"Nessie, do you plan on yelling at him again?" I heard E.J say from next to me.

"Oh E.J what would make you think such a thing?" she replied sarcastically.

And then she was falling to the floor. E.J was there to catch her.

"I don't want to see momma hurt anymore." She cried.

E.J looked up at me, pleading.

I couldn't comprehend anything of what was going on. Everything made no sense now. My Bella was dead but she wasn't? I remembered her last words. I remembered the words she spoke in our meadow.

"_I want the pain in my heart to actually have a reason for existing. I don't know why Edward left but I know he had a good reason. He always does. I know he did! I know he wouldn't do anything like this if it wasn't to keep me safe! He's the best man any girl could ask for! He's the best man on the planet and he chose me! Plain old Bella! I don't feel any pain for losing him. He never said anything about not loving me so I know he still does! But I know him and I know that if he tried hard enough he would be able to keep away until I actually did die. So please? Please make this unexplainable pain have a reason. I don't understand any of it. It didn't hurt this much the first time. So please? You can have my blood. All you have to do is break me." she finished, tears streaming down her face._

_This _Bella had said something similar…

"_He __**had**__ a reason! I know he did! I know he wouldn't do anything like this if it wasn't to keep me safe! He's the best man any girl could ask for! He's the best man on the planet and he chose me! Plain old Bella! Why does everyone hate him? I don't. If I don't then they have no right to either." She managed to get out as she finished crying._

That's when I made the connection. My Bella was the only one who wouldn't hate me for what I had done. She was the only one who would ever love me even though I had done something so _cruel_. Bella was the only one who wouldn't give a damn if I came back and would smile and welcome me back into her life just happy to see me.

"Now you decide to remember? What the fucks your problem?" Nessie hissed.

"Nessie, stop it now." E.J whispered in her ear.

She looked at him for a second and nodded. E.J looked at me.

"Momma said something about going to the place where all the pain began. Do you know what she was thinking about? She didn't think any images so we don't know and when we began prying for more information she put up her shield so we couldn't see."

I froze stiff.

"Where all the pain began…" I repeated.

And then I was running.

I didn't give them all a second glance.

I ran to where my Bella was.

Hoping…

Hoping…

Hoping that I wasn't too late.

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Wasn't that just splendid? I'm sorry for leaving it like this!! I was going to put the chapter up _before_ I left for my trip but I didnt get around to it. I'm still working on how to word the next chapter but it's rather difficult. And if anyone thinks this chapter is bullshit I shall agree. I really think I could have done _way_ better on this... but I didn't... Thanks for reading! I will put up the next chapter as soon as possible. I have exams and shit to study for though... but don't worry! I'll get them up as **_soon_** as I can!!

Again thanks for reading and pretty please review!!!

:3chu~

... yeah... i was bored so i randomly put that there... okay bye now! see you in chapter 27!!!


	27. Forgiveness

Like I said before, I have locked SC and CC in their rooms because this has become too serious for them and they would just make me change it for their liking.

Please read the Authors Note at the bottom. It is there so that you all do **not** shoot me dead **before** the next chapter.

Did I do a disclaimer for the last chapter... I don't really remember... well everyone knows that no matter how much I wish I did own Twilight and Edward (mostly Edward) I do not.

SM owns them both. Now please Read and Review!!

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**BPOV**

I sat there, in the dark, not caring about anything anymore.

I was too weak to function.

I was too weak to live.

I just wanted to die.

Why did god enjoy torturing _me_?

What did _I_ do?

I cried in my own personal hell.

It wasn't hot and fiery like it was always made up to be.

It was cold and numbing.

I welcomed death now.

Life hurt too much.

I wanted it too end so badly.

Why wouldn't it?

Why wouldn't god do what I wanted just this once?

I didn't know what to expect when I had ran.

I had just thought that 'ha... he finally got over me.'

I knew it was only a matter of time before that were to happen. He saw me as a weak little human and I was dead in his eyes.

_**DEAD...**_

The word spread to every inch of my mind like a disease. I couldn't escape it. I wanted to let it eat me. I wanted it to tell me that it was right and I was wrong. I knew I had no chance in getting _my_ Edward back as soon as I heard those thoughts all those months ago. Edward had thought I was dead. He thought I _looked_ like his Bella.

"That's right," I whispered to myself as I pulled my knees closer to my chest, "I'm just a substitute for _his_ Bella right now. He doesn't _want_ me anymore. He doesn't _need_ me anymore. He doesn't _care_ about me anymore."

I felt the hot tears as I said these words. I wanted to believe these words weren't true but they were. He was with Tanya now. He doesn't need me anymore. I won't be anything but a memory to him from now on. I wouldn't be _his_ Bella anymore. I would just be Bella. Just Bella.

I dug my nails into the ground.

"He killed me. He killed me and he doesn't give a damn." I hissed under my breath.

"He didn't give a damn about what he was doing when he left. He just left. He didn't give a damn when he saw me again. He fucking killed me and he can walk around like nothing happened! I hate him! _I hate him! _ **I hate him! **_**I HATE HIM!**_" I screeched as tears poured down my face.

**EPOV**

I ran as fast as I could to Forks High.

I needed to get to Bella.

I needed to see her.

I needed to tell her I was sorry and that I loved her. I needed to beg for forgiveness and hope she would welcome me back. As I thought all this I heard a voice creep into my head that was unfamiliar at first. I gasped as I realized who's thought I was hearing.

"Bella..." I whispered.

_He doesn't __**want**__ me anymore. He doesn't __**need**__ me anymore. He doesn't __**care**__ about me anymore..._

I felt pain course through me as I heard her thoughts. How could she think such a thing? Oh right, because I was an idiot and came in with Tanya by my side. I ran through the school still listening to her thoughts. I was right outside the room she was in when I heard say something that tore my heart apart.

"_**I HATE HIM!**_"

I knew she didn't mean it. I could hear it in her thoughts. She didn't mean it one bit. I opened the door and she glared up at me.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" she growled.

I took a step towards her but her ice cold look showed me how much she didn't want to be comforted right now.

"You think I'll just welcome you back again? You fucked up big time Edward! You fucked up so bad I don't think I can forgive you."

* * *

Please just listen to me. I don't know how to write a happy ending so it's going to end with everybody sad and lonely...

Please don't kill me. It's the only way to make this ending a good ending... in the way it's written at least...


	28. I'm sorry

I'm so sorry for not updating sooner! I had this written out with only a few corrections to make but I had exams to worry about and yesterday I had to go to some other schools and sing so I was exhausted when I got home and slept from about 6pm to this morning. I'm just glad that I've finally been able to post it! Uh... don't kill me?

* * *

_**DISCLAIMER: (THIS FONT MAKES ME MISS SC AND CC) I DONT OWN TWILIGHT! SM OWNS ALL! SADLY. BUT IF I DID I WOULD PROBABLY MAKE IT TOO DEPRESSING!!! IM GOING TO SHUT UP NOW SO YOU CAN READ! ENJOY AND PLEASE R&R!!!!!!!!**_

**

* * *

BPOV**

I knew I shouldn't be like this. I shouldn't have said that to Edward. I saw the pain on his face. He didn't deserve something like that being said to him. I wanted to believe his thoughts were sincere but I knew that you could lie through you thoughts. So many people have in the past. I felt pain ripple through my chest as I remembered being betrayed by my family. My _family_!! Why would they do something like that? Oh right, they 'didn't' want to hurt my feelings!

I looked up at Edward and realized he could hear my thoughts. I held my head and turned away from him.

"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!!!" I screamed, putting my shield back in place.

"Bella..." Edward said and I heard him take another step closer.

I turned back to him.

"I don't want to know! You want to be with her? Then go be with her! Don't spare my feelings! Please! Just go!" I shrieked.

**EPOV**

I watched shocked as Bella's eyes became a vivid red. She was... telling me to leave... I wasn't going to this time. Not this time. Not when I've thought she was dead for the past 50 years. She hissed and gave me a look that, if looks could kill, I would be a pile of ashes right now.

"Oh, you're not going to leave just because you thought I was _dead_? What? You feel guilty? Is that why you're still here?! Get lost! Just leave me alone, dammit!" she cried, turning away.

I took this as a chance and walked up so we were only barely a foot apart.

"Bella, I'm sorry. Please, listen to me!" I pleaded, knowing she was going to be stubborn.

She didn't turn to me. I sighed. I guess I was going to have to talk to myself.

"Bella, I do _need_ you. I do _care_ about you. I do _want_ you. That will never change no matter how long I live on this god forsaken planet. I need you more than anything. I need _you_ more than I need to keep my cover as a vampire. I need _you_ more than I need to keep my sanity. I need _you_ more than I need to drink blood! I need you so please don't think otherwise!" I said, trying to make her see.

She turned to look up at me.

"You're lying. You're really good at it, Edward, but I know you are. You know you are too." She whispered.

I groaned.

"When are you going to realize that I only want _**you**_?" I asked, exasperated.

She blinked a couple of times, expressionless.

Suddenly she was on her feet too, her expression beyond infuriated.

"**YOU**_** NEED**_** ME?! WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING THINGS LIKE THIS WHEN YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT IT MEANS?! 'NEEDING' SOMEONE MORE THAN ANYTHING MEANS YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO SMILE ANYMORE BECAUSE THEY AREN'T AROUND! YOU WERE ABLE TO DO THAT WHEN I WASN'T AROUND PERFECTLY FINE! I KNOW YOU WERE SO DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO ARGUE!**" She screeched, reading my thoughts, again.

I was a bit surprised by that fact. She could read my thoughts...

"**SEE!? YOU'RE THINKING WITH A STRAIGHT HEAD RIGHT NOW WHEN YOU SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO! YOU DON'T NEED ME LIKE YOU SAY YOU DO! IF YOU DID YOU'D BE DEAD AND I WOULD BE LIKE THIS ANYWAY! I WOULD BE AN EMOTIONAL WRECK ANYWAY BECAUSE YOU'RE THE ONE WHO DECIDED TO LEAVE ME BY MYSELF! YOU FUCKING LEFT ME EDWARD! I WOULD HAVE DIED FOR YOU AND YOU LEFT ME! I **_**DID**_** DIE FOR YOU AND YOU LEFT ME! YOU DIDN'T COME BACK AFTER YOU SAW THAT DAMN VISION, DID YOU? YOU DIDN'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT!**" she paused and sucked in a deep breath.

"And you know what? I think I would have been better off knowing you were dead than knowing that you were with someone else."

**BPOV**

When I finished I realized that everyone else was there. Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice, Nessie, E.J, Carlisle, Esme... there had all just witnessed me say that... I was about to turn and run again.

"Mom, you're not running. You need to figure this out. Don't let miscommunication stop you two again. I don't want to see you three sad anymore." E.J said.

I looked back at him and noticed Nessie holding onto him, eyes red which only resulted from crying too much.

"I- I-" I couldn't say anything.

Edward looked at me.

"Bella, please..."

I looked away from him.

"I can't. I can't do this, anymore! I'm sick of being lied to! I'm sick of it!" I said.

Suddenly there was a gust of wind and I was pinned to the wall. Edward was glaring at me. I looked up at him shocked and angry.

"What do you think you're doing?! Let me go!"

I struggled but his hold was too much for me.

"Bella, what are _you_ doing? Why won't you listen?! Why won't you listen to me!?"

I felt the tears as he asked such stupid questions.

"Because I don't want to. Are you happy now?" I replied, not meeting his gaze.

"What does that mean? You don't want to?" he asked.

"I DON'T WANT TO MEANS I DON'T WANT TO! NOW SHUT UP!" I shouted, struggling again.

"Bella you think this is all about you! This is about everyone else too." Edward said, trying his hardest to not yell at me.

"Why don't you stop pretending? I know what you're thinking! Why don't you just say it so everyone else can hear you? It isn't fair to leave people in the dark." I paused and smiled.

"But then again you're really good at doing what others don't like."

I tilted my head to the side.

"Tell me Edward, when you saw me _die_, why didn't you come back? Why didn't you come back to make sure I was dead?"

he looked at me, eyes wide.

"Mom, stop this." I looked at E.J.

"Why should I? He doesn't have a good enough reason! He's thinking of one right now! You know that too! He can't love me and then do shitty things like this!" I yelled, not caring that I was supposed to be a mother right now.

I just wanted to be left alone.

"Mommy, we aren't going anywhere. Deal with this like a mature adult." Nessie said.

I looked at Edward for a second then turned my attention back to her.

"Like hell I will. He should have just left me when he had the chance. He did have the chance and he decides to take it when I want to tell him the truth!?"

I looked back at Edward.

"Tell me, how does it feel to have the one you love so close but not within reach?" I asked him.

"Do you have _any _idea how I've felt since you guys transferred here?"

For once my kids stayed quiet. He was still staring at me wide-eyed, frozen stiff. I decided to peek into his mind again:

_Why can't I answer her? Why can't I find an answer __**good**__ enough for her? maybe she is right. maybe I should just stop this. She obviously doesn't want me. she obviously wants me gone. Why didn't I see this sooner? _

His grip on my loosened and he took a stepped back.

"I'm sorry Bella. you're right. I'm sorry. I'll leave now. I won't bother you anymore." He said, turning on his heal and leaving the cafeteria.

His family looked at me for a second. _My _family looked at me for a second before they all followed him out. My kids walked over to me. Nessie sat down at my feet as I slowly sunk to the floor in exhaustion.

"Guys..." I looked up at them.

They were staring at me with cold eyes.

"I'm sorry! I just... I couldn't let him do this to me again... I know you guys wanted him in your life more than anything and I'm sorry I took that away from you." I said.

their stares remained unchanged. I sighed.

"You guys could go with him. I would understand. I haven't been that much of a mother lately."

I looked down at the floor.

"Momma, we won't leave just because you haven't been acting like yourself. We won't question your reasoning... though we know it's stupid..." Nessie explained.

E.J sighed and scratched his head.

"She's telling the truth. We wouldn't leave you unless you tell us to." He said.

I looked up at him.

"I'm really sorry for taking him out of your lives. I don't regret leaving him though." I said.

* * *

Sorry again but I have come up with an idea that might make this a happy ending. Im working hard to think of a way to put it into words.

Please don't hate me. I am just as sad that things aren't going well for Edward and Bella. I, probably more than anyone else, think they deserve a happy ending. I am trying my hardest so please don't kill me!

I'm working on chapter 29 right now. It might take a while thoguh...


	29. Goodbye, My Love

This chapter will probably get me killed... you'll see what I mean when you read it. So thus I shall shut up.

* * *

_**DISCLAIMER: I DONT OWN TWILIGHT. SM OWNS ALL. I JUST OWN THE ANGST I BRING THESE CHARACTERS FOR NO REASON.**_

* * *

We had stayed in Forks, though Nessie and I knew it wouldn't help her. We were perfectly fine with it. We could look after or mother and stay with the rest of our family, even if they weren't talking.

"E.J, I don't think that's such a nice thing to say." Nessie whispered.

I sighed and looked at her.

"I'm not talking and I don't care. Some things aren't nice but that doesn't mean they aren't true." I said looking back at the big TV.

This was boring. Momma was still locked up in her room and we haven't gone back to the Cullen house in over a month.

"E.J, you get to shut up now. This is annoying me too! You aren't the only one suffering. Why don't we go do something together?" she asked me.

I looked up at momma's bedroom door.

"Momma, we're going out, okay?" I shouted up.

We knew that just by thinking it wouldn't help. I heard a muffled squeaking which in her mind meant yes.

I stood up and took Nessie's hand. I knew where she wanted to go, though in reality she would never admit it if I voiced her thoughts.

"Hey! You know I can hear you!" She huffed.

I smirked.

"That doesn't mean you denied it. You know it's true too. You wanna go see daddy?" I asked her.

She bit her lip like momma did whenever she couldn't make up her mind on what to say. Nessie nodded her head and we ran to the big white house. I felt something pull at my heart. Happy for once that I had the mind shield, I placed it between Nessie and myself.

"Hey! Why'd ya do that?" she asked, annoyed as we walked hand in hand to the back door.

I shrugged, "I don't want you in my head right now."

She mumbled, "That's so unfair."

And left it. I sighed. I didn't want her to know that the most composed in our family was feeling horrible.

We knocked on the door and waited patiently. The door opened and I was surprised to see daddy. I thought for sure he wouldn't want to see us. Then again I wasn't paying attention to anyone around me. I did notice that his eyes were pitch black.

"Oh, it's you too." He said, trying his best to sound happy.

I sighed. Nessie was staring up at him.

"Why is daddy so hungry?" she asked.

He stiffened and relaxed. 

_That's going to take some getting used to. _He thought.

I looked away and wiped away the single tear that was threatening to fall. (He is a kid! Things happen naturally. His instincts tell him to. Yeah that's my lame excuse.)

"Why don't you two come in?" he said, stepping aside.

I walked in slowly, following Nessie.

We sat down. I sat down next to Alice. She looked down at me with a knowing look.

_Don't worry; Edward's too caught up in his own thoughts to realize any of ours. I know this must be hard for you._ She thought.

I looked up at her. She smiled a sad smile. I didn't know what kind of expression I had. I wanted to cry. That was odd for me. I had never in my 50 years on this planet cried. My family being torn apart was something I was used to. Why was this any different? Alice looked down at me for a second before looking at everyone else.

"We're going for a walk." She said, taking my hand.

I could feel everyone's confused expressions from behind.

We didn't really walk. We just got out of hearing before she sat me down on a fallen tree and stared at me for a while.

"You're sad." She stated.

I stared at her.

"No I'm not." I retorted, annoyed that someone like her would understand.

"This is hard for you. You may be strong but even the strong cry once in a while. It's not healthy to keep it bottled up." She smiled that same sad smile.

I looked away.

"It's nothing. I'm used to my family being like this. Daddy hasn't been with us for 50 years. Nothing's different now. Just because I want everyone to be happy doesn't mean that it'll happen." I said.

Alice pulled me into a hug. Only when I felt the moisture soak her shirt did I realize I was crying.

"I just want them to be happy. Is it so wrong to wish that? Why do I have to be the strong one? I want to cry when it's tough and I don't know what else to do! Why does everyone else have it easy?" I cried.

Alice waited for me to stop.

"Auntie, I'm sorry." I cried, wiping my nose.

She smiled.

"It's not your fault. You had a lot of pressure being put on you. You had to be the man of the house. Now that Edward's here you want to have him there so you can be a little kid like you're supposed to. I know somewhere in your heart you're not admitting it because it's so selfish and we all know you're not like that but sometimes you can't run from the truth." She said.

I looked at her. Auntie Alice was the best in the whole world.

"I love you Auntie Alice. I'm sorry. I'll try harder."

_At what?_ She thought.

"I can read minds remember? And at being a better kid!" I said.

She laughed, "C'mon. They're about to come look for us."

**BPOV**

I woke up in to the darkness that was my room. I called out for Nessie and E.J and no reply came. A voice inside my head began to talk:

_They left you. They've gotten sick of you._

I froze. They couldn't have. I relaxed when I remembered E.J telling my they were going out. I sighed and leaned against the headboard of the bed. I pulled the blanket up to my chin. I was the one leaving him. Why was I so sad? It made no sense. I looked up at the ceiling and sighed. This made no sense. I sat there and sighed some more. I looked at the window, expectantly. I stared at it for a bit.

"DAMMIT! WHAT'S WITH ME!" I yelled when I realized I was waiting for Edward.

I really wanted him but... I was scared too. I was scared he would leave me, again. I knew it was an irrational fear. He loved me. I could see that. A blind man could see that. Why was I the only one suffering here? I sighed. He was probably suffering too.

"Edward, you're an idiot. I'm not going to except you back so easily. Sorry doesn't do anything to me anymore. I love you but I'm not that easy anymore." I said out loud.

"Really, now? I guess I'll just have to try harder." I heard a velvety voice say.

I snapped my head up and looked at the wonderful beast leaning against the wall.

"Edward."

**EPOV**

I knew it was wrong to sneak into her house, her room, like I used to but I _had_ to see her. Her "Edward" had come out in a breathy sigh of relief and that made me hopeful.

"So, what do you want?" she asked me.

I answered with a simple, "Please listen to me."

she sat there, holding the blanket tighter.

"Bella, I love you more than anything. I can't exist without you. All those smiles you saw were forced but real. Being with you made me smile more. I always thought 'she's a lot like my Bella.'" I said.

She looked away and mumbled "He did do that..."

she eyed me out of the corner of her eye and sighed.

"I'm sorry Edward. I can't see your point." She said, looking away, no doubt to hide tears.

I hung my head before snapping it back up.

"Bella, I love you, listen! You may be scared but I'll do anything in my power to keep you happy. To make sure you'll never be scared again. Please, just listen to me!" I begged.

She locked eyes with me for a while before turning away.

"Edward, please use the door this time." She said in a final tone.

"Good-bye." She called as I left her room.

The tone of her voice made me realize that this _is_ the last time I would see her again.

She didn't want me.

I had hurt her too much.

This was the first time in a long time that I felt like crying my heart out though there was no heart to cry out.

I had left that back in the room with her.

Forever shall it be hers.

* * *

See what I mean by this chapter will get me killed? But don't worry! I have a plan! It won't end like this even if my life depended on it!

_*.*... im going to kill you._

**Yes we both will.**

WTF?! WHERE ARE THOSE VOICES COMING FROM?!

***_Tackle me* BYE! SEE YOU IN CHAPTER 30!_**

**_*hint hint* this means its going to be happy soon!  
_**


	30. Tears

ME: SORRY!!!!

**_SC & CC: TOOK YOU LONG ENOUGH!_**

ME: FORGIVE ME! i have summer school! i have no choice but to limit my time on the computer!

_**SC & CC: *raises eye brow***_

ME: uh... *looks left then right*

_**SC & CC: coco...**_

ME: *sighs in defeat* i didnt finish typing it out until 7/7/09 at 10: 44 pm pacific time. happy?

_**SC & CC: yes. *turns to audience/readers* thank you for waiting so long for this long awaited chapter... well in our case it was.**_

ME: FORGIVE ME!!!!

_**SC & CC: *glares me down* WE'LL ONLY FORGIVE YOU IF EDWARD GETS HIS HAPPINESS AND BELLA BACK!**_

ME: WAAAAAAAAH!! *slowly trails off*

* * *

_**DISCLAIMER: COCO DOESN'T OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE OTHER THINGS SHE WISHES SHE OWNS LIKE A AWESOME CAR SUCH AS AN ASTON MARTIN OR A MERCEDES BENZ.**_

ME: they arent nice at all... *tears in eyes* read and review. enjoy!!!

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**

**BPOV**

I listened to the last of Edward's thoughts as he left the house:

_Forever shall it be hers._

I sat there, unable to move even if I wanted to. All sorts of emotions whirled inside my head. Anger, hatred, love, joy, pain... pain was the strongest emotion of them all. My body soon became an object of this emotion. Every cell in my body was in fire because of the pain and I didn't know why.

_I _was the one who left him.

_I _was the one who thought he wasn't good enough this time.

_I_ was the one who let him feel the pain of 100 deaths.

_I_ was okay with the pain I had given him...

I was surprised when I saw my white duvet darken in some places due to moisture. I put my hand to my cheek and sure enough there were hot, wet, tears there. I scrubbed them away but it was pointless; others followed.

I tried to figure out why I was crying but I came up empty handed. I felt a sharp pain in my chest- in my heart- and cried harder. I thought harder and realization hit me them.

"Oh..." I whispered as I stared at the bed without really seeing it.

_I_ was the one in the wrong. 

_I_ was the one being cruel.

_I_ was the one who had killed him.

_Him..._

He would risk his life and give up everything for me and I _killed_ him. I shook my head, trying not to believe it, and looked at my body length mirror.

"But he left me there to die. He killed me already. Aren't I allowed to do the same?" I whispered as I watched my twist up in pain.

I looked at it for a bit.

"I won't ever see any of them again... I have no reason to." I said without realizing or thinking.

As that slowly sunk into me I cried so hard I couldn't see anything anymore.

I couldn't breathe properly anymore.

I couldn't even think.

The only thing I was aware of was the pain that made my whole body burn.

Who was I kidding? I needed him. I needed him to support me in everything I did. I needed him to be there for me like he would have been right now if I hadn't pushed him so far away. That was something I thought I was incapable of. I knew nothing would be my perfect ever again. Nothing would be without him. I needed him. I needed him... I needed him more than anything and now that he was back in my life. I couldn't go another second without him.

Life was already going to be hell. I might as well kill myself thoroughly, right? I got up from my bed and walked over to my window, losing all my human appearance. I jumped out the window and landed easily. I was going to go see Edward. I needed to fix this...

Or at least try to.

**EPOV**

I sat in my room, on the bed I had acquired just for Bella all those years ago.

"Edward! We're all going hunting! We'll be back later! Don't do anything rash! E.J and Nessie are gonna stay just in case!" Alice called up, getting my attention.

I tried to look into her thoughts to see why the suddenness of a hunting trip but she blocked me out by singing the Gakuen Alice theme song.

"Honestly, Alice?! You shouldn't be allowed in front of a TV anymore!" I yelled in moment's irritation.

I heard her laugh as they left.

There was a soft knock at the door and the kids walked in.

"Daddy, don't worry. Everything's gonna be fine. Please believe that." Nessie said softly as she climbed onto my lap.

E.J stood there for a minute before climbing onto my lap too.

"Momma's always like this. She's slow at realizing what she needs to survive." He murmured as he hid his face in my shirt.

That doesn't mean that what I did wasn't wrong." A voice came from the doorway.

I looked up and there was Bella in all her vampire beauty. She walked in and sat down on the leather couch.

"Edward, I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm so sorry I didn't see sooner how much I needed you. I only realized it after you were gone. I can't survive without you, Edward. My forever doesn't matter with you not in it. My forever doesn't _exist_ without you. I would give back this life just for the chance to start things over and correct all the wrongs I made."

She hadn't looked at me the whole time she had said this so when she did, the amount of pain and regret I saw in her honey-gold eyes shocked me.

"Edward, please forgive me. I know that the mistakes I made are ten - no, ten hundred times worse than the mistakes you have made. Please Edward. I can't survive without you." she whispered.

I sat there shocked.

When I didn't respond she laughed weakly.

"I sound desperate, don't I?" she asked.

She locked eyes with me.

"But I am. I don't want to lose you." she took a deep breath.

"I love you too much." She spoke softly.

"Bella..." I managed to get out.

This _was_ my Bella. Every nerve in my body knew it. I knew that if I could I would be crying tears of joy.

"Bella," I spoke as I walked over to her.

She looked up at me as I towered over her. I took her face between my hands and leaned down.

"I love you, too." I whispered against her lips before kissing her.

I kept my eyes opened to watch her reaction. She was shocked at first. Slowly, I watched her melt and felt her hands come up around my neck so she could pull me closer.

When we pulled apart for unneeded air, we smiled at each other.

"I missed you." she whispered, smiling that beautiful smile of hers.

I returned it with the crooked smile I knew she loved most and repeated her words.

"Is it safe to look yet?" Nessie and E.J said at the same time.

I laughed as I watched the two of them looked between their fingers.

"It's safe." Bella giggled.

* * *

ME: happy?! happy enough?!

_**SC & CC: im not sure...**_

ME: O__O!!! AWE C'MON! I WORKED REALLY HARD ON THIS!

_**SC & CC: okay okay! good job!**_

ME: YAY!!!!!!

_sane coco: she's really simple minded..._

**crazy coco: doesnt that mean that we are really simple minded. we are her after all.**

ME: YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!

_**SC & CC: *watches for a bit before turning away* i dont know her. thanks for reading! now all you gotta do is review!!!!**_

_**ALL OF US:~~~BYE!!!!!!! THANKS FOR READING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! SEE YOU SOON!!!!~~~  
**_


	31. New and Improved, my Love

ME: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

_sane coco: a little too many exclamations there don't ya think?_

**crazy coco: even i dont use that many!!**

ME: I'm sad!!!!!!! what'd ya expect!?

**_SC & SS: SHAT AP!_**

ME: *sniffle* you two don't care about me at all.

**_SC & CC: THAT'S RIGHT! NOW DO THE DISCLAIMER!_**

**_

* * *

_**DISCLAIMER: I DONT OWN TWILIGHT OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS! PEACE OUT! READ AND REVIEW WHILE I GO GO CRY UP A LAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!! *runs off* WAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

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**BPOV**

Edward and I were at the piano. He was teaching me how to play.

**(**_A/N:_ I don't remember if I made her able to play and I'm too lazy to go check!! X]!!**)**

Alice was playing with something in a corner... actually she was sewing something... I was worried. She kept singing all of the sailor moon theme songs so we couldn't get into her mind. I looked at Edward. He seemed just as irritated as me.

**N&E.J (_both thinking same thing... or close enough. im too lazy!!_)**

We watched momma and daddy from where we sat in the corner. Auntie Alice was sewing a wedding dress in the far corner of the room. She told us it was a secret so we had to keep our mind shield up to hide it from momma. We watched momma and daddy become more and more irritated as Auntie sang sailor moon theme songs in her head. We laughed under our breath. Auntie's sudden change from slow sailor moon theme song to a heavy metal death note theme song pushed them over the edge. We laughed as their hands came down, _hard_, on the keys and they turned to look at Auntie. She looked at them innocently.

"What's the matter guys?" she asked.

Mommy and daddy stared at her for a minute.

"ALICE KNOCK IT OFF!! JUST TELL US!" they both yelled at the same time.

We laughed so hard we were rolling on the floor. They looked at us and narrowed their eyes.

"You two know, don't you?" daddy asked.

We shook our heads at the same time. Mommy walked glared at us.

"Tell me, _now_!" she hissed.

We gulped.

"Auntie Alice is making a wedding dress for momma so she can have an actual wedding with daddy! Sorry Auntie!" we confessed.

**APOV**

I sighed as Bella's glare turned to me.

"Don't you dare think of getting out of this, Bella. I already have everything set. It's not going to be big. Just be reasonable for once." I insisted as she advanced.

She still had the look of a murderer in her eyes.

"B-Bella, c'mon!" I pleaded.

I sighed again. I knew who was going to win. I should let her know too.

"Bella you're doing this no matter what you say now. You wouldn't deprive me of this." I said.

She immediately thawed out.

"Alice when?" she whispered.

"Friday. Don't worry. It's only gonna be us." I said, happy she was co-operating.

**NormalPOV (decided to try it out)  
**

Everything was set. The archway was in place. The cake was there, though it was only for two three people. The preacher was there ready. The beautiful man in the black tux and his right hand men were there. The beautiful maids of honor 

**(**_A/N: _or whatever. I don't really pay attention to weddings.**)**

The nervous woman in the stunning white dress. It was all there.

"Do I look okay?" Bella asked Alice and Rosalie.

"Perfect." Rosalie smiled.

"Like a princess." Alice grinned.

Bella tried her best to smile but couldn't really. She didn't even understand why she was nervous. She was marrying the man of her dreams and she had gone through hell and back to be by his side for all eternity.

"Okay let's get this over with." She sighed.

Alice squeaked and Rosalie called Carlisle.

"Ready Bella?" he asked.

"No but I don't think I'm gonna be more ready then this." Carlisle laughed.

"Let's go. Don't want to keep him waiting do you?" he smiled.

Bella felt blush creep across my face.

"Stupid powers." she mumbled causing a laugh come from the other side of the doors Bella was currently standing behind.

"Emmett shut up." she heard Alice hiss.

The wedding march started and the double doors opened.

Bella looked at the one person waiting at the other end of the walk way. _Bella calm down_ Bella heard Jasper think. Bella blushed more as Edward's grin grew. Of course he would have heard what Jasper was thinking. When Carlisle got to Edward he handed Bella's hand over in an old fashion. Edward took it and smiled as Bella stood in front of her. When it came time to say their vows Bella was no longer nervous. She was sure that no matter what may come she would always be by his side and they would face it together. She was also sure that no matter how many fights they would have, they would always love each other.

**BPOV**

"Do you, Isabella Marie Swan take Edward Anthony Masen Cullen to be your husband as long as you both shall live?" the preacher asked.

I smiled, "I do."

Edward smiled too.

"Do you, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen take Isabella Marie Swan to be you wife as long as you both shall live?" the preacher asked.

Edward grinned and said with confidence.

"I do."

The preacher said some other things but I was too absorbed in the moment of knowing this beautiful creature was _mine_.

"You may now kiss the bride." I heard him say.

Edward cradled my face between his hands before kissing me delicately. Our family cheered and E.J and Nessie raced to our feet. I smiled at Edward.

"Nothing can break our love." He smiled.

I smiled back.

"That's only because it's new and improved, my love." I replied before kissing him again.

* * *

ME: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *sitting in a puddle of tears*

**_SC & CC: WHY THE HELL ARE YOU CRYING?! IT WAS A HAPPY ENDING!!!_**

ME: ITS OVER!! MY FIRST FANFIC IS OVER! IM SO SAD AND PROUD!

_**SC & CC: OH GOD! YOURE AN IDIOT!**_

ME: I KNOW!


	32. Something Extra

ME: *still crying* WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!

_**SC & CC: *locks me up in a metal safe and sits on it* anyways! Thanks to everyone who has stuck with us till the end. It means a lot to us. You guys are the best. So thanks a lot.**_

ME: *still in safe* and I love you all!!!!!!!! *still crying tears of sadness and pride*

_**SC&CC: YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO TALK ANYMORE!!!! *kicks safe***_

ME: WAAAAAAAAAH!!!! *shields head*

_**SC& CC: in other news... we're all very proud of Edward and Bella and their idiocy. We didn't know it could reach that extent. **_

Edward and Bella and ME: HEY! THAT'S NOT NICE!!!!

_**SC&CC: uh... PEACE OUT! BYE!!!! **_

ME: ................. FOR GOOOOOOOD!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!! THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!! YET I'M SO PROUD!!!!


End file.
